Monday, January 31, 2011

Living Happily In Fear: My Top Ten Horror Towns

Once again, Unk from Kindertrauma and I have teamed up for another of our inspired posts about the greatest places to live, courtesy of the world of horror.
First we picked our favorite homes (here and here) - then our least appealing choices (here and here).
Now, we've chosen the actual towns we love best - the legendary communities that tickled our fancy and caused us to fantasize about laying down roots.

10) First up.... Amity Island.
It's not a shocker to anyone that Jaws is my favorite movie, so it shouldn't surprise anyone to know that I'm in love with Amity Island. Of course I realize that in reality it is the lovely Martha's Vineyard in Massachusetts - and though I've never been to that particular island, I've seen the rest of Cape Cod and find it utterly sensational. I like it almost as much as Hatteras Island on the Outer Banks.

That being said, Amity is a prototype for small town coastal America. It's charming, smells like salt water, and has the best little marching band on this side of the coast. As long as I keep my feet in the sand and not in the actual water, I should be safe from man-eating sharks and all the rest of those creepy things that swim around in the ocean.

9) Another lovely oceanside vista that I am quite enamored of is Ingonish Cove in the Scottish Highlands. This quaint little town is from a little-seen film called Half Light, which starred Demi Moore and I believe was direct to video.
All the scenes from the film however, were filmed in various locations across Wales. Further proof that Wales is absolutely where I should be living. (I'm in love with the locations in the movie The Dark, as well, which were also Wales). Not being much of a people person, I could totally get used to life in this remote region of the coastal UK. Ghosts in lighthouses wouldn't really bother me much either, especially if they were as fine-looking as the lighthouse keeper in this film. (Side note: the score of this film is absolutely beautiful and can be found on iTunes.)

8) Speaking again of the ocean, for this one I'm coming back to the states. Welcome to Santa Carla, CA. Home of The Lost Boys.

I'm absolutely mad about vampires (surprise!), so the fact that they are rampant here wouldn't give me much thought not to lay down roots.

Plus who the hell wouldn't want a freaking carnival in their town 24/7? And I have to say: vampires on motorcycles? Hell yeah! Bring it. Okay, so it IS the murder capital of the world- or so they say. What of it? If you can't beat 'em, join 'em. There are very little drawbacks for me here, except maybe the Frog Brothers. They drove me insane. They gotta go before I move in.

7) Haddonfield.
Ah yes. Michael Myers' hometown. Maybe it doesn't seem like much at first, but it's a great place to raise a family. Or so it would appear. Seeing as how I am not related to the infamous Michael, perhaps I would be able to settle in without any issues from the white-masked wonder.
Though filmed in California (a rather odd stand-in for Illinois), Halloween's Haddonfield sure reminds me of my own hometown here in western Pa. With its tree-lined streets and working class feel, it kind of makes me feel a bit nostalgic when I see it. Of course, my town doesn't exactly share the lovely back story this one does, since we haven't had a psychopathic killer on the loose since um.... ever.

6) Sleepy Hollow - A tranquil yet spooky little hamlet, Sleepy Hollow might not be the best place to hang your hat. Especially when you may not even require a hat. After all, you may not even keep your head if you decide to move in here. But I might take the chance. I've had no run-ins with anyone dead set on revenge, so it's possible I may just live to tell the tale.
And just so you know, hands off Icabod Crane. He's mine. Especially if he looks like Johnny Depp. I'm just saying....

5) Milburn, VT-
The sleepy town of Milburn (of Ghost Story fame) is actually Saratoga, New York. In the film it is tucked away under a sea of stars and a secret darker than the blackest night. It is simply put, a perfect place to lose yourself. And I'd do just that.
I'd have no real fear of the ghostly vengeance of wronged woman Eva Galley - I sure didn't sleep with her then conk her over the head, stuff her in a car and watch her drown. Nope, wasn't me. I think I'd be fine. And if we are actually talking Saratoga here, then we are talking horse racing. And for me, there are no better words on this earth.

4) Derry, Maine -
Stephen King's playground of woe. Combined with Castle Rock and Jerusalem's Lot, King created a trifecta of gloom and dark deeds. Derry is probably most famous as the setting for IT.

But despite its resident spider-monster in the sewers and horror's most terrifying clown, Pennywise, Derry actually seems like a pretty cool place to grow up. I'd have been all about The Loser's Club. It created life-long friendships, and we could all benefit from that. But I can do without Pennywise. Seriously. I hate clowns.

3) Summerisle (The Wicker Man) -
Okay, so who wouldn't want to prance around naked while doing fertility rituals, dance around the maypole while singing silly songs, and wear creepy cat masks while dangling out the window frightening a police chief? I'm in.

I've always wanted to go to Scotland, and what better place to lay down roots than this lovely parcel of land in which pretty much anything goes? This is all besides the fact that I've had a crush on Christopher Lee since his Dracula days. Do you think he's still hanging out? Bad hair and all?

2) Twin Peaks -
If I were to live in any of David Lynch's bizarro worlds, it would most certainly be this gem of the Pacific Northwest.

This town had me at hello, with all its mountain grandeur, deep dark woods, swinging traffic lights, and ridiculously eccentric residents. I feel as though I just might fit in here perfectly. I'd love to work the desk at the Black Lodge, or perhaps be a special assistant to Sheriff Harry S. Truman.
But in my Twin Peaks, that moody music by Angelo Badalamenti would always be playing in the background.

1) Bon Temps (True Blood) -
But of course it's my number one! There could be no better place for a vamp-loving girl like me. All the preternatural lovelies I could possibly handle, and a few I can't. Ooooh, yeah.
Boasting the best bar this side of the Mississippi in Merlotte's, you can catch all the action of its sexy residents - as Bon Temps is simply teeming with good times.

And apparently you don't need to stick around Merlotte's to have a good time - the whole town seems like it's Mardi Gras all year round. They make a helluva nasty mess of the main drag. Looks like fun!

Oh yeah, so there might be some bloody backlash dished out to me after I quite possibly shift (no pun intended) from vampires to werewolves (Alcide!), but I'll deal with that when the time comes. Until then, I'm ready to live in the town where the so-called bad things are a matter of opinion. Hot and steamy? Um, yes please.

And because sticking to ten places is difficult for me, I've listed a few honorable mentions.

*Woodsboro (Scream) - Because if you don't count the ghost-face killer, it's a rather upscale neighborhood.

*Fairvale, California (Psycho) - For only one reason. Just on the outskirts of town lies a place I'd love to call home - The Bates Motel.
And no, I couldn't resist.

And don't forget to head over to Kindertrauma to see my cohort's favorite towns, which includes more than a few places I'd love to put down roots.

Sunday, January 30, 2011

Sunday Bloody Sunday

Sweeney Todd:  The Demon Barber of Fleet Street      

The Ogre (aka Demons III)

Bloody Moon

The Dead Zone

Halloween 5:  The Revenge of Michael Myers

Sunday, January 23, 2011

Sunday Bloody Sunday

Stay Alive

The New York Ripper

Macabre (Frozen Terror)

Kill Bill Vol. 1

Long Pigs

Angel Heart

Saturday, January 22, 2011

The Wettest Way to Die: Showers of Doom

SO... when I read André Dumas' recent post on The Horror Digest about her penchant for taking showers instead of baths, I did agree that taking a bath - at least in a horror movie - seemed to be a bad idea.

HOWEVER,  I think most will agree that taking a shower really doesn't provide any more protection from death and other ghastly things.  In fact, as much as I enjoy a nice, steaming hot shower, I will be the first to admit I am a little shaky when the curtain is closed and the whole place steams up like a sauna room at a men's club.  Who knows what lurks outside the curtain?  Actually, I think we DO know.

At least with a bath I am completely aware of what is going on.  Everything is right there out in the open.  If I'm going to be offed in my bathroom I think I'd rather see the killer coming so I can fend him off by... I don't know...kicking him in the crotch with my feet or maybe setting his hair on fire with my soothing lavender candle. 

In the shower, you're so damned vulnerable.  Not only are you naked, but you've got a curtain or door to contend with, and no doubt some damn shampoo in your eyes.  All the sudden AHHHH!  The curtain flies back and you're stabbed like a piece of beef on a shish kabob.  No time to even grab your back scrubber and poke your attackers eye out!

In horror, the shower will be forever immortalized as a great place to die, thanks to the brilliance of Alfred Hitchcock and a little bit of Hershey's syrup.

So with André's blessing, I give you showers of doom:


My Bloody Valentine


Dressed to Kill

Death Ship

Final Destination

Friday the 13, Part VIII
Jason Takes Manhattan

Friday the 13th

House 4

In the Folds of the Flesh

Jack Frost

A Nightmare on Elm Street 2

Phantom of the Paradise

Pulse (1988)

Room 205

Saw 3

Blow Out

The Cell

The Grudge

The Seventh Victim

The Funhouse

The Prowler

True Blood

Zombi 2 (aka Zombie Flesh Eaters)

(...and then the eye jab)


I think I've proved my point.
Then again, maybe it's just best to avoid the bathroom altogether.