IMDB has a list of memorable quotes from the 2004 zombie comedy, and I got a real hoot out of reading them.
This is just a sample. You can read the rest on the site here.
(I tended to exclude some of my real faves due to the major F-Bomb dropping...
***
Ed: Any zombies out there?
Shaun: Don't say that!
Ed: What?
Shaun: That!
Ed: What?
Shaun: The zed-word. Don't say it!
Ed: Why not?
Shaun: Because it's ridiculous!
Ed: All right... are there any out there, though? [looking out of the letter-box, he sees an empty street]
Shaun: I can't see any. Maybe it's not as bad as all that. [he turns his head and sees a pack of zombies]
Shaun: Oh, no, there they are.
***
Shaun: Ohh, for God's sake! He's got an arm off!
***
Shaun: [about Ed] I've known him since primary school, you know? I like having him around, he's a laugh.
Pete: What, because he can impersonate an orangutan? Fuck-a-doodle-doo!
Shaun: Oh, leave him alone.
Pete: All right, I admit, he can pretty funny on occasion. Like that time we stayed up all night drinking apple Schnappes and playing Tekken 2.
Shaun: Oh yeah. [laughing]
Shaun: When was that?
Pete: [laughing] That was five years ago. When's he going home?
***
Shaun: [about Ed] Oh, he sells a bit of weed every now and again, you know. You've sold puff.
Pete: Yeah. Once. At college. To you.
***
[Shaun tries to get out of Philip's Jaguar]
Shaun: Philip, have you still got the child-locks on?
Philip: Safety first, Shaun.
***
[trying to call the emergency services]
Ed: Shaun, what's going on?
Shaun: Shit, it's engaged!
Ed: How about an ambulance?
Shaun: It's engaged, Ed.
Ed: A fire engine?
Shaun: It's one number, Ed, and it's busy! Okay? What you want a fire engine for, anyway?
Ed: Anything with flashing lights, you know?
***
[Shaun is channel hopping] [Channel 4 News]
Krishnan Guru-Murthy: Though no one official is prepared to comment, religious groups are calling it Judgement Day. There's... [VH1, playing "Panic" by The Smiths]
Morrissey: ...Panic on the streets of London... [ITV News]
News Reporter: ...as an increasing number of reports of... [Football]
Football Commentator: ...serious attacks on... [Channel Five News]
News Reporter: ...people, who are literally being... [Nature documentary, leopards eating a gazelle]
Documentary Narrator: ...eaten alive. [Sky News]
Jeremy Thompson: Witness reports at best are sketchy. One unifying detail seems to be that the attackers in many instances appear to be... [T4]
Vernon Kay: ...dead excited to have with us here a sensational chart topping...
***
Barbara: It's been a funny sort of day, hasn't it?
***
[after Philip has been bitten]
Philip: You didn't call the doctor, did you?
Barbara: Well, I thought we ought to be on the safe side.
Philip: I'm quite all right, Barbara, I ran it under a cold tap.
Barbara: I really think...
Philip: We had our jabs when we went to the Isle of Wight.
Barbara: But Philip...
Philip: It's a lot of overblown nonsense, a lot of drug nuts running wild.
***
Shaun: [to a girl in the garden] Excuse me? [no response]
Shaun: Excuse me? [no response]
Shaun: Hellew? [no response]
Ed: [picks up a pebble and throws it off her back] Oi! [girl turns round, a zombie]
Shaun: Oh, my God! She's so drunk!
***
Shaun: As Bertrand Russell once said, "The only thing that will redeem mankind is cooperation." I think we can all appreciate the relevance of that now.
Liz: Was that on a beer mat?
Shaun: Yeah, Guinness Extra Cold.
Liz: I won't say anything.
Shaun: Thanks.
***
Ed: There's a girl in the garden.
Shaun: What?
Ed: In the garden, there is a girl.
***
Ed: We're coming to get you, Barbara!
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