Pic of the day

Morbid Poetry Rocks!

Some fun:

"The Gashlycrumb Tinies" is a book written by Edward Gorey in 1963.
It is a series of rhyming couplets that form a poem of sorts.

Each letter of the alphabet is represented by a child (A is for Amy) who has died in some unfortunate manner, and is illustrated with black and white drawings, as seen here:

I, being a relatively macabre person, found them imaginativly morbid and gloomy!
Perfect for this time of the season!

Click here for the whole alphabet. It's a hoot!

Recommended reading: Part 1

So you all know I am a big fan of the horror-genre oriented podcast: horroretc.com, right?
Well they are planning a show in which they are having listeners review horror novels that have not been made into movies (yet) but should be.

I would love to send them an audio clip but have no way of recording due to my incredible lack of tech-savvy skills. So, I told them I would send a few reviews their way and (sorry guys) they will have to read them on the show...

My first recommendation would most certainly be 'Heart-Shaped Box' - by Joe Hill.



Most people probably know this is written by Stephen King's son. If not, crawl out from under the rock you've been under and read this book. After you finish it you will realize that to be the truth. He has alot of his dad in his stylistic writing. He uses a fantastic amount of pop culture references to keep you right in the present, yet without dating himself too much for future re-readings.

It is, however, my understanding that this book IS indeed being made into a movie by Warner Brothers, who have tapped Irishman Neil Jordan (The Brave One, Interview With The Vampire, The Company of Wolves) to direct.
Folks, this is a book that begs to be a movie. Seriously. It would have been just about as good if just simply written as a screenplay.

In any event, Heart-Shaped Box tells the story of Judas Coyne, a middle-aged rock star (think: Ozzy, Robert Plant, Steven Tyler....) winding down from an illustrious (?) career of hard rockin, hard drinking, and hard living. He's used up alot of drugs and alot of women. Wait, this is sounding more like Keith Richards. Maybe anyone from Motley Crue?

Anyway... Jude is a collector of all things morbid - a cookbook owned by a cannibal, a hangman's noose, a snuff film - those kind of curiousities. One day, his personal assistant calls to tell him about a ghost that is being auctioned online (eBay no doubt) and of course that is like candy to children. He buys the 'ghost' for a grand, and it turns up by UPS in a - you guessed it - heart-shaped box on his doorstep. Inside is a dark suit, the kind you'd wear a hundred years ago at a funeral. Inside that, a malevolent spirit determined to cause considerable woe.

I must say, the book had me right there. What a cool concept. Ghosts for sale.

Jude, however, has no idea that the ghost is no gimmick, at first.
The previous owner wanted rid of the suit that belonged to Craddock McDermott, a man who turns out to be the step father of one of the many women that Jude did wrong throughout his life. She committed suicide. And Craddock is downright pissed.
The ghost starts showing up everywhere in Jude's life. Sitting in a chair by his bedroom, in his beloved Mustang - everywhere and anywhere. It's eerie, effective, and really creepy, even to read about it.

Of course Jude tries to contact the seller to give it back, but no dice.
Jude and his (much younger) girlfriend take to the road, in an attempt to run from the ghost and track down the truth about what really happened.

So many bad and unfortunate things happen in this novel, and I loved it. I couldn't put it down and I read it entirely on one rainy saturday afternoon last year.

I can't wait to see this as a movie. I could absolutely see them casting someone like Nicholas Cage in the main role of Jude - but I would be SO much more inclined to cast someone unexpected in the role - like Billy Bob Thorton, Vince Vaughn, or Josh Brolin.
For the role of Jude's groupie girlfriend Georgia, I could see Christina Ricci, Ellen Page, Kristen Stewart, or maybe Jessica Alba. And for the role of ghostly Craddock - why not Ian McKellen, Anthony Hopkins, Christopher Lee, or Ted and Tony's fave: Lance Henriksen!!
(My dream casting would be Viggo Mortensen as Jude, Eliza Dushku as Georgia, and Christopher Plummer as Craddock. I will be excited to see who they pick.
Of course Johnny Depp would be great as Jude - but seeing as how the man hasn't aged a day past 25, he looks way too young for the role!)




Oh and I really would have to suggest a rockin' soundtrack for this film, don't you think?
Maybe modern alternative bands doing takes on old school rock songs, such as Don't Fear the Reaper, Dust in the Wind, Bad to the Bone, Midnight Rider.... etc.

So check out Heart-Shaped Box, I can't see anyone being disappointed in this fast-paced horror gem. Like father, like son.

magic muSHROOMS

I'm actually rather shocked no one thought of this concept before for a horror movie.

(If anyone did, let me know - I'm not aware of it)

Shrooms (2007), which in itself is a silly title, is an interesting little piece of film.
I cannot say I didn't like it. But I really wouldn't recommend it for an Oscar (or even a Chainsaw Award!)...
I do like the movie poster though - it rocks.

Shrooms involves a group of college students (of course!) who are off on a trip to Ireland (because all students have money lying around for intercontinental flights and vacations!) to meet up with a mutual friend of theirs who lives there (how convienient!) and knows all the 'good places' where psychedelic mushrooms grow.

Yeah, like I'd fly to Ireland to eat mushrooms. Right.

So.... the heroine (?) of the film is Tara (Lindsey Haun), who looks alot like that Veronica Mars chick whose name escapes me at the moment. She has the hots for Irishman Jake (Jack Huston), and I do too!

Looks like a younger Johnny Depp... yummy.
Ok, I might fly to Ireland to eat mushrooms...

Forgive me, I digress...

Tara and her friends (two guys, two gals - how sweet!) meet up with Jake and begin their adventure to the realms of the unknown. They head off a dark forest path (is there any other kind?) and set up camp.

While carelessly exploring the forest for hallucinogenic fungus, they stupidly split up.

Yeah, like I'd wander off in a remote forest area in a foreign country. Anyway...

Tara is kinda down and out because though she flew thousands of miles to see Jake, he really hasn't made much of a fuss over her.. so, unbelieveably, she eats a mushroom she thinks is the kind they are looking for. I guess she thinks if she is tripped out enough, Jake will want to have sex with her. I'm thinkin' she should have just straight-out asked him. Duh.

But while she was off galavanting on her own, Jake was warning the others again to make sure they differentiate between the safe fungi and the 'deathcap mushroom', which looks frighteningly similar. I think you can see where this is going.

Simply put, Tara eats the wrong one.

A side note -
Deathcap mushrooms are an actual poisonous mushroom:

It is native to Europe, and is at least found in Ireland, so that part of the story rings true.
Half of a mushroom cap is enough to kill you.
Apparently they taste fairly decent - probably why people die from eating them, they cannot tell there is anything wrong. At first. Till all your body systems start failing...

However, the shroom she ate in the movie looked like this:

Now, if you're thinking this is just a medical mystery-type of horror movie, you'd be mistaken. There is alot more going on.

After Tara ingests the mushroom but AMAZINGLY does not perish, she begins to have delusions, funky dreams, and can apparently see the future in frightening visions.
She is resting in her tent while the others sit around the campfire and Jake tells a story (now there'd have to be a story, wouldn't there?) about the abandoned children's home nearby in which a sadistic monk caretaker ate a stew with the deadly shrooms (that would kill anyone else)and proceeds to murder all the children in a ghastly manner - all but one child, a boy who was banished to the dog pen for unruly acts. Supposedly, the monk and this boy are still roaming the forest.
Tara progresses on with her freaky trip and sees all of her friends being slaughtered, one by one.

So there is alot of tripping out going on, weird visuals and the movie itself is just dark. I mean the lighting is nearly non-existent. But that didn't really bother me, it added to the creepy atmosphere of the film. There is also what one would call a surprise ending, but it left me a little flat, like I'd seen it somewhere before. Perhaps because I have.

Like it's vacation-oriented bedfellows, Turistas and The Ruins, Shrooms is rather a poster-child for 'what not to do on vacation'. The fact that these idiots actually don't take their cell phones into the forest with them (in case someone is tripping really bad and imagines things that aren't there and calls the cops or their parents, etc...) is pure lunacy. It would have been much more likely for them to take the phones but not get any damn service deep in the woods.

I should add that in addition to the over-used 'abandoned house on the hill' concept, they have thrown in a few freaky inbred people and a talking cow (seriously!) in this movie. Make what you will of that.

So I guess I would recommend Shrooms, as I have to admit I did enjoy it - if for no other reason than Jack Huston! I suppose guys would like the female stars and their cleavage.
It is a "watch instantly" movie on Netflix, so if you have that service, take advantage of it.

*In all honesty, even though I like mushrooms, I feel they are much too representative of the phallic symbol, and I would not be able to pick them anywhere without laughing.

An American Crime

Just watched 'An American Crime'- which, in my opinion, is a companion piece to
'The Girl Next Door' . It is more of an honest telling of the true crime of Sylvia Likens.

You can read all about the crime at the previous link. Suffice it to say, I feel this movie is a much better made film, with better acting ALL the way around. In 'The Girl Next Door', much was added and fabricated (because the source material was from a book "inspired by true events"). This movie is a retelling of the actual court documents and testimonies of what actually happened way back in 1965. I felt a bit more sympathetic to the situation of the lousy creep of a caretaker (Gertrude Baniszewski). I felt more fault towards Sylvia's parents, who left their children with a woman they basically knew nothing about.

Ellen Page was great (as usual) as Sylvia- she had a real feeling for the role, and it is obvious how talented she is. Catherine Keener played Gertrude quite convincingly. I felt her performance (which was Emmy nominated for the role) was top notch and loads better than the awful job done by the actress playing the same role in the other film.

I won't elaborate on the plot except to say it involves the seriously disturbing child abuse, torture, and ultimate death of Sylvia Likens back in October 1965 in Indianapolis, IN.
The poor girl was beaten, stomped on, burned with cigarettes, and made to live in the dank filthy basement with very little food and water. She was made to insert a Coke bottle into her vagina, and in one of the most shocking discoveries -she had the words 'i am a prostitute and proud of it' carved into her stomach. She died of a brain hemorrhage, shock, and malnutrition.

Unbelieveable.

See this movie - that's all I have left to say.

Recently watched:

Recently, there have been pretty slim pickings on new releases of horror movies.
I am here to report that I have seen three recently released films.
All of them used up 90 minutes or so rather sufficiently.
NONE of them are anything to write home about.
So I'm writing here instead.
First on the slab:

Prom Night.

NO, silly fools, not the one with Jamie Lee Curtis.
The one from 2008 that starred a very annoyingly vapid Brittany Snow in the female lead.
This version pretty much shares name only with the original from 1980.

If I really must go into details, I'll make it quick...
1) Donna (Snow) has been waiting her whole life (!) for her senior prom!
2) A few years ago an obsessed teacher stalked her and killed her family trying to get to her.
3) Surprise! The teacher/maniacal killer has escaped from prison and is on his way to the prom to find Donna!
4) Many of Donna's friends meet an untimely demise.
That's pretty much it.

Nothing new here. There was no stellar acting or anything. No tricky plot twist.
It wasn't awful, but it'll do in a pinch - like if all you have in front of you is this movie or say... Borderline Cult... then I'd go with Prom Night.

Next is "Lost Boys: The Tribe"

Wow.
Why on earth was this movie made?

The original was such a major 80's horror staple. Totally campy and fun, with a bit of horror thrown in and some pretty good actors in the leading roles. Almost believeable.

This is dreck. Although, the lead vampire is apparently played by Angus Sutherland - Kiefer's half brother. That doesn't mean he has the acting chops of big brother. I mean, I've never seen him in anything else and wonder if this is all just an homage to the older Lost Boys...

Same plot though. A brother and sister move to Santa Carla after their parents die in a car crash. They are going to live with their aunt, who in turn lets them rent (yes she makes them pay!) a tiny house she apparently owns. As if two kids (late teens if I'm not mistaken) could afford their own place... don't they go to school? I doubt working at the local Dairy Queen could pay the rent in coastal California.

Of course they almost immediately meet up with the vampires in town. The sister falls in love with the lead vamp (naturally!), and in turn the brother enlists the 'services' of Corey Feldman again to help extinguish the bloodsuckers. There is supposedly a cameo at the end of the movie, after the credits roll, with Corey Haim - but as bad as he now looks, I am half glad I ripped this out of the DVD player toot sweet.

Oh my. Anyway, I'd have to say it was more of a rip-off than a straight-forward sequel. And it wasn't even updated well.
The ending was really non-climactic and therefore rather boring.
Like Prom Night, it wasn't awful - and maybe it would scare some 12 year olds that snuck in to see it, but I thought it was a useless sequel (?) to say the least.

By the by, Tom Savini does have a short cameo role in the beginning of the film, but even it is way overblown and overacted - and not in a fun, campy way...
Shame on you Tom.



And lastly we have 'Awake'..


Now this is a movie that I thought had a very interesting premise.
A guy (Hayden Christensen) goes in for a heart transplant and once they load him up with anesthesia, the guy finds out that he can still hear the doctors talking, shuffling around getting things prepped for surgery, making some comments that he shouldn't be privy to, and then - in the most grim moment of the film - the scalpel is introduced to the flesh.

Ok, STOP.
I was pretty psyched up to this point.
Then when Hayden started screaming (in his mind of course) when the cutting began, it was just too fake. He did not sound realistic. Wouldn't you be literally screaming bloody murder? "No, no, aarrrgghh!" isn't gonna cut it, boy! I could just totally imagine him in a sound booth, cutting his dialogue. He didn't convince me that he was "awake" - I mean, wouldn't you just pass out from the pain if that actually did occur? Especially when they started with the rib spreaders...

There is a central mystery aside from just the 'anesthetic awareness' situation, but it isn't really very strong. Great actors such as Lena Olin and Terrence Howard are wasted. Jessica Alba plays Hayden's too-sexy wife (she's great at looking gorgeous in all her films and that's about it) - she has a secret. Don't they all?

So all in all, not a great trio to pick from. I suppose I liked 'Awake' best due to it's somewhat original storyline, but it still didn't have any major selling points. It was also so SLOOOOW.

Hopefully there will be some good stuff coming out soon - we are rapidly approaching the spooky season, you know.
I'm looking forward to seeing these upcoming DVD releases:
'The Strangers'
'An American Crime'
'Mother of Tears'
'Stuck'
'Rest Stop 2: Don't look back'
'Joy Ride 2: Dead Ahead'
'Pathology'

And in theaters: my Halloween-time regular at the theater - the latest in the Saw series: Saw V.

Later!

Crazies only, please.

Insanitarium is a 2008 film starring the 'gardener' from Desperate Housewives, Jesse Metcalfe - who looks equally at home in a mental institution. (Equally as good-looking, too - even while heavily medicated and/or running from cannibals.)

It tells the story of Jack (Metcalfe) , whose sister Lily (Kiele Sanchez) has been institutionalized in an asylum that does not allow visitors. Apparently their parents are dead (and the mother had a history of psychosis as well) and Lily is all Jack has.

Jack unwisely decides to fake being nutso so as to get himself committed so he can see his sister and make sure she is alright. You know, just pop in, act a little crazy, get said sister, get out.
At first, things go alright - he is gaining knowledge about the place, meeting people who may be able to help him on his quest, etc. Then things all go downhill - the doctor in charge there (played by the always over-the-top Peter Stormare) is doing some kind of freaky tests on the patients using an experimental drug he designed - and the drug changes them into cannibalistic blood-lusting crazies. Lovely.
Jack does manage to find his sister, as well as a fellow friendly and not-quite-crazy patient, and a helpful nurse - and together they attempt to escape the institution just as the experiments go a little south and they convieniently have full-on psychos running amuck.

It's very much like an analogy I read: One Flew Over the Cuckoo's Nest vs. 28 Days Later...
Once 'infected', these patients are just no-holds-barred whacko. There is bone ripping and chewing and blood and guts galore in the second half of this movie. Everyone seems to be covered head to toe in buckets of blood. In particular the human-eating freaks.

Good thing is, though, the freaks can die. They are not zombies, do not reanimate or come back to life, and once you sink a knife in them they are done.

But there are alot of them.

Not the brightest crayon in the box, this movie lacks an entirely cohesive plot, but it does make up for it in gruesome violence and loads of gore. Definately a B-grade schlocky film, but worth a look.

ELBISREVERRI

Ok, I have heard an unbelieveble amount of hype (good and bad) about this film so I thought it was high time I finally check it out. Glad I watched it alone cause I cannot imagine watching this with anyone else - not even someone I have been married with for over 18 years. It is best to experience this by yourself. Watch it and you will understand what I mean.

Irréversible is a movie that is written, directed, filmed and edited by the director Gaspar Noe.
I have no idea what gave him the idea to do this movie, and frankly, I don't think I really want to know.
It is a disturbing piece of work on soooo many levels.
It has actually won many critical awards. This is somewhat unnerving as well.

I will say this. It is different than anything I have ever seen.

I cannot really say I enjoyed it, as how does one truly enjoy watching a near-ten minute long nasty (and I mean NASTY) rape scene. Seriously!
I understand, on some level, the fame the movie has received, and I can imagine there are many people (in particular, horny guys) who see this film just for the stunningly pretty Monica Bellucci.

That aside, this is one screwed up mess of a movie. It has subtitles, which ordinarily do not bother me. However, it also has totally delusional, vomit-inducing camera work. The camera spins and turns and basically shows dim lit alleys, guy-on-guy sex, and creepy clubs spinning by. That, combined with the subtitles, makes for quite a dizzying experience.
I imagine the director is aiming to make a point of some kind. The entire movie is told in reverse chronological order, with the rape somewhere in the middle - even though it is the theme the whole movie is riding on. It actually works, though.

In the beginning (end?) of the film, Pierre (Albert Dupontel) and Marcus (Bellucci's real-life husband, Vincent Cassel) are frantically running through the streets of some French city, assumingly Paris, seeking out a low-life nick-named 'Tenia' (or in some cases, le tenia - literally meaning 'the tapeworm') because (as you eventually find out) he has (violently) anal-raped Marcus's girlfriend Alex (Bellucci) and beat her to a pulp so cruelly so that she is in a coma. Pierre is Alex's ex-boyfriend, so he & Marcus both have a vengence against this Tenia dude like you've never seen. They finally seem to track him down in a gay club with a choice name - RECTUM.
Oy vey.

That is pretty much the movie in a nutshell, and to say more would ruin this interestingly different movie that even with the grim subject matter and seriously annoying musical (?) score, I couldn't stop watching.
There is a scene involving a fire extinguisher that has been hyped a great deal, and it really does deliver a powerful punch. As does the rape. If you do not cringe, fidget in your seat, and feel dirty afterward - you are not human.
There is a bit of a surprise and devastating ending (or should I say beginning?) that many won't see coming.

In any event, I think this film is worth a look, if for nothing other than the intriguing way the director has put this thing together. I will say again, I've never seen anything like it.

That doesn't mean I ever want to see it again, though.

Ladies have skeletons too!

Ahh... Demi Moore.

Men love her, women want to be her.
My hubby wants her to talk dirty to him just so he can hear her husky, sexy voice.

The perpetually young-looking former Mrs. Bruce Willis and the current Mrs. Ashton Kutcher has been more about tabloids than movies as of late, and let's face it - if you were lucky enough to marry someone 15 years your junior, you'd want to brag too!

But you know, she started out in horror as well.
In the 1982 shit-fest "Parasite".


Parasite (1982)

Now Demi has gone on to make alot of memorable (in one way or another) films (Ghost, Striptease, Indecent Proposal -to name a few)... but she has also done a fair amount of work in the genre.
I can't really count her as one of my favorite actresses or anything (though I do have a soft spot in my heart for the old 80's standby 'St Elmo's Fire'!) but I did enjoy more than a few of the following flicks:



Disclosure (1994) - perfect casting, actually - in both roles.



Ghost (1990) - her best, no doubt.



Half Light (2006) - liked this alot, actually, and it has a great music score.

Mortal Thoughts (1991) - Can barely remember this...?

The Scarlet Letter (1995) - E-gads this was baaaddd.

The Seventh Sign (1988) - another piece of crap

Mr. Brooks (2007) - not bad if you can tolerate Kevin Costner.

In closing,

I just can't see her on stage at the Academy Awards anytime soon.

Let's just leave it at that.

Kevin's Skeleton

Kevin Bacon has such a prolific movie career that there is literally a trivia game
( Six Degrees of Kevin Bacon ) named after him.

In 1980, he starred in the first film of one of the genre's biggest franchises - Friday the 13th.

Here he is getting the old arrow through the neck - love that scene.

It has been said that Kevin won't talk about or own up to one of his very first actual starring roles - that he is ashamed of the movie.
Well honey, seems to me you've continued to make tons of other films that slide right into the genre in one way or another.
He's played serial killers (more than once), a vengeful dad, a pedophile, a molesting boy's school guard, a nut-job scientist, and more than a few outright criminals, among other roles.

I, for one, am a big fan and always look forward to his 'every-guy' character acting.

Some of his more prominent genre roles include:

Death Sentence (2007)

Mystic River (2003)

Flatliners (1990)

Hollow Man (2000)

Murder in the First (1995)

The River Wild (1994)

Sleepers (1996)

Stir of Echoes (1999)

The Woodsman (2004)

Trapped (2002)

Wild Things (1998)

and last but not least, the crap-tastic:

Tremors (1990)

Looking forward to much more from this great actor in the future.
And in the meantime, Kevin, try not to forget where you came from.

(that's gonna leave a mark......)

Skeletons in the closet

For my own personal amusement, I have decided to post a series of photos of people who got their start in my favorite genre. Whether or not they own up to it, history (and photos and film) do not lie. Face it, many of our favorite and most popular stars got their start in horror movies.

The first example is of course, Johnny Depp. Anyone who knows me knows he is my favorite actor, no question.

And the movie? A Nightmare on Elm Street.

Playing Glen, the main character (Nancy)'s boyfriend in 1984, he had the misfortune of dying one of the most unusual deaths in horror. Death by bed-suck.

Good ole' Freddy found Glen in his dreams and sucked him into his bed, along with his tv and other odds and ends. A volcano of blood then erupted and splashed all over the entire room. Quite unique, even for a horror movie.

Look how young and downright cute he was...
(still ain't too shabby, to say the least)

Johnny had a cameo in 'Freddy's Dead: The Final Nightmare' - shows he's not afraid to fess up to his roots.

Unlike alot of stars, Johnny has never tried to hide from his 'horror-ble' beginnings.

In fact, he has thrived on dark, brooding, and sometimes even malicious characters.

Examples would include:

Edward Scissorhands (1990)

Sleepy Hollow (1998)

The Astronaut's Wife (1999)

The Ninth Gate (1999)

From Hell (2000)

Pirates of the Caribbean (2003-2007)

Secret Window (2004)

Sweeney Todd (2007)

Here's hoping he doesn't lose his feel for the genre anytime soon.

O.T.I.S.

I just found a cool site I have to share:

O.T.I.S. aka Odd Things I've Seen.

I wish I could say I know the 'author' of this site but he has chosen not to include his name, stating that his 'name, as well as his life, is unimportant'...

It's basically a blog and good photos about a bunch of strange, unusual, famous and infamous places in the world.
Such as The Danvers State Hospital in Massachusetts (home of 'Session 9' fame)....
The Great Pyramid in Egypt, The Lizzie Borden House, The Exorcist stairs, etc...

Whoever he is, he is a good writer - and he's went alot of places I am quite interested in , as well as a few I've already been to - such as the House of Seven Gables in Salem, Mass. (as seen below)...


photo: O.T.I.S.

It is also obvious the blogger is well-read, as he has pictures and text of many visits to famous literary heroes homes, birthplaces, and honorary statues.

I've had fun reading it - hope you do too.