Tuesday, September 6, 2011

The Caller: Where's That Damned 'Do Not Call' List When You Need It?

I have to admit, I don't watch too many screeners.  I suppose part of the reason is that I work full time and don't have all day to sit around watching films, so when I put one in the DVD player I'd like to assume it is going to be fairly watchable, and things like A Zombie Ate My Homework (don't bother looking it up, it's a fake title - I hope!) probably isn't going to light my fire.  Let's face it, there is a whole lot of crap out there in movie-land.  But when I was contacted to check out Matthew Parkhill's The Caller, I was pretty interested.  Conceding that the first thing that got my attention was Stephen Moyer's name being attached to it, I also liked the fact that it was listed as a thriller instead of straight-forward horror.  Sometimes a girl gets tired of all the pointless gore and boobies.

Getting said movie into my hands was another story.  Apparently they couldn't send it to a PO box so they needed my street address.  So I gave it.  And what did I get?  Three notices from FedEx on my front door stating I needed to sign in person for the package.  Now maybe I'm the weird one, but I WORK FOR A LIVING.  I am gone all day. I work every day.  From the traditional 9 to the traditional 5.  I am not home to sign for a package.  And when does FedEx deliver?  Weekdays from 9 to 5.  I can see my boss's face when I told him I had to stay home to be there when a movie screener came to my door.  Yeah, that would happen.  Finally after some finagling around with an extremely nice studio rep (thank you Cait!), they had it delivered on a Saturday. Wow.  Is this what it is like all the time getting screeners?  Why can't they just leave the darn things in my door?

ANYWAY, after all the issues and my subsequent down-time due to surgery, I finally got to actually watch The Caller the other night, and thank goodness it was worth the hassle.  I'd have been pretty disappointed if it had been a real piece of crap.

People with hair like this piss me off.
The Caller stars Rachelle Lefevre (yeah, the original red-headed vampire-bitch from Twilight) as Mary Kee.  First off can I just say I would like to have Lefevre's hair.  All the Redken hair products in the world won't make my hair look as wild and wavy as hers.  Jealous much.

So as the film starts, Mary is moving into a new apartment in San Juan (and we aren't really ever told why she is in Puerto Rico in the first place) and we quickly are made aware that she has a horrific estranged husband (Ed Quinn) who makes the dude in Sleeping with the Enemy seem like Prince Charming.  She's got her own place to escape him and begins to settle in.  Now I realize we are in a foreign country here, but wow - the walls in this apartment's kitchen are GREEN.  Like, St. Andrews Golf Course green.  Not sure I would have been able to handle that. She also has a landlord who keeps feeding her info regarding the history of her apartment, just like a good little useless extra character should do.  But played by the awesome Luis Guzman, he makes it work.

I never had a teacher this good looking. Ever.
Mary, trying to get out there and socialize in her own way, begins French classes at a local college.  Lucky for her she stumbles into a mathematical engineering class taught by Vampire Bill John Guidi (Moyer).  Though he does direct her to the correct class, it's obvious they have some chemistry, and more in the French sense than the mathematical sense, if you know what I mean...

Things seem to be flowing along alright until Mary gets a random phone call from an old woman looking for 'Bobby'.  When Mary explains she must have the wrong number and is about to hang up, Rose pleads for her to stay on the line, just to talk.

See what I mean about the green walls?
Thinking Rose is just lonely, Mary chats a bit - seems the two women have something in common after all, they both have had awful relationships in which their men let them down.  But she soon begins to feel uncomfortable when it seems like Rose knows a bit too much about her apartment and continues to ask about "Bobby".
(I'm not quite sure why there would be an old rotary phone in this apartment in the first place.  In the age of cell phones, why would that old dinosaur even be hooked up?  But for the sake of the plot, I will let that one go.)
It starts to go all hinky when Rose proclaims she is calling from the year 1978.  Say what?  Mary now thinks Rose is off her rocker, until Rose says she will draw something on the wall in Mary's pantry - and low and behold when Mary peels off some old wallpaper, the picture (of a rose, no less) is actually there.  So what do we have now?  A mystery. Who is Rose?  What happened to Bobby?  How does Mary fit in to all this? And just what else might be in the pantry??

When she lets John in on all the craziness he brushes it off at first, but then begins to agree something weird is going on.  The phone calls keep on coming, and in between that and her ex-husband who won't leave her alone we, as the audience, aren't sure what is live and what is Memorex.

As John and Mary take their relationship to the next level, John feels Mary needs to get Rose out of her life, if for her own mental well being if nothing else.  But when Mary tries to extricate herself from the supernatural friendship Rose becomes outraged and increasingly malevolent,  threatening great harm to those around Mary if she doesn't keep up the connection. 
There is what I would loosely call a twist near the end, which to me was fairly satisfying. 

One of my favorite Twilight Zone episodes is  Night Call.  It features a woman who receives phone calls from "the other side", and in some respects this film reminded me a lot of it.  I've heard people complain that it is a rip off of the movie Frequency, but in all honesty I saw Frequency - and though I liked it, I didn't find it particularly  frightening at all. Yeah, let's just throw all time-travel movies in one pot and compare them. Let's add The Time Traveler's Wife, Back to the Future, and Groundhog Day into the mix too! Duh.
In all honesty it probably has more in common with The Butterfly Effect than any of those other films.

I think The Caller showed some genuine chills (just that creepy apartment of hers was ominous enough) and it certainly kept my attention throughout.  Rose is voiced by the uber-eerie Lorna Raver of Drag Me to Hell fame, and she is equally as threatening here.  Moyer is also quite good, almost as is expected.  But the film belongs to Lefevre, who shows off her post-Twilight acting chops as the terrified spouse just trying to get on with her life.

It's a dark film, and by that I mean both bleak and void of much natural light.  It's somewhat like an X-Files episode combined with an Outer Limits tale.  And since I like all those things, it worked for me.  The central mystery of what happened with Rose and her 'Bobby' keeps the tension rising, and with Moyer's participation it made it all the more agreeable. 
Definitely worth a look.

Sunday, September 4, 2011

Sunday Bloody Sunday

Due to the fact that I had major surgery last week and am feeling slightly under the weather, I've taken several of my favorite hospital-themed gore shots to display today.  Because who isn't just a little bit scared of being admitted to a hospital and dealing with all the ensuing anxiety and tension that (believe me) goes along with it?

What if they take the wrong leg off?  What if a murderous nut-job picks your hospital to go berserk in?  What if they pronounce you dead but you're really not?  What if your doctor is a little less like Marcus Welby and a little more like Dr. Vannacutt in House on Haunted Hill?  What if you go in for a natural childbirth and they deliver a giant maggot? 

In any case, I'm glad to be back at the ranch, so to speak- where I'm much more likely to be attacked by a vengeful ghostly entity, possessed by the devil, attacked by zombies cluttering my yard, or menaced by a trio of loonies who just want to kill me because I was home.

Cheers!


The Fly

Horror Hospital

My Bloody Valentine 3D

Pet Sematary

Saw IV

Thursday, September 1, 2011

30 Movies, 6 Words...

Ahh, yes.  Another list.  And yet another time I copy something outright from my pal, The Mike, over at From Midnight, With Love.  He's always finding cool lists to put his own spin on, and I'm always stealing his ideas.  So I have to give credit where credit is due and thank him for the thought. 

Here's the scoop:  30 movies, 30 categories, 6 words about each film.  The original meme starred movies of all genres, but what the hell fun would that be?  (Actually an enormous amount, and it makes me wish I was up to date with my "regular" blog that I haven't written for in a year...)  Naturally, I picked (as The Mike did) thirty horror movies.  And here's what you get...

(Feel free to rip me off as well - what are friends for?)

The 30 Movies, 30 Categories, Six Words Each

#1 - One of your favorite movies, (but not your favorite movie):


TENEBRAE
(There had to be an Argento!)



















#2 -  A movie you hate (or just plain really, really don't like):


GROTESQUE
(Mindless drivel poorly disguised as gore)

 





















#3 - A movie you watch with friends:

FRIDAY THE 13TH
(Too many slumber parties long ago)






















#4 - A movie that pleasantly surprised you:

PERFECT CREATURE
(very original story starring steampunk vampires)






















#5 - A movie that disappointed you terribly:

DEATH TUNNEL
(Seriously spooky concept, utterly awful film)





















#6 - A movie from your childhood:

WHEN A STRANGER CALLS
(scarier than Halloween to a babysitter)






















#7 - A movie from your childhood that you hated:

I WAS A TEENAGE WEREWOLF
(Spare me the Landon pity party)






















#8 - A movie you watched on a date:


HALLOWEEN 4: THE RETURN OF MICHAEL MYERS
(Showing my age but don't care)




















 

#9 - A party movie:

HOUSE ON HAUNTED HILL
(Except I have no coffin favors)





















#10 - An action movie:

I SAW THE DEVIL
(I love me some Asian violence)





















#11 - A comedy:

YOUNG FRANKENSTEIN
(Still quoting: 'Put the candle...back!")





















#12 - A romantic comedy:

SHAUN OF THE DEAD
(We might have to kill Philip)





















#13 - A thriller:

STRANGERS ON A TRAIN
(Hitchcock comes through with the thrills)





















#14- A Sci-Fi/Fantasy movie:

MOON
(Rockwell deserved an Oscar for this)





















#15 - An Indie film:

SPLINTER
(Moral is don't pick up hitchhikers)





















#16 - A Documentary/Biopic:

CROPSEY
(Chilling account of real life legend)






















#17 - A Musical:

SWEENEY TODD
(Love me a good meat pie!)























#18 - An Adaption of a Book/TV series, etc.:

JANE EYRE
(My favorite adaption of Bronte classic)





















#19 - A movie made before 1967 :

CARNIVAL OF SOULS
(Creepy as hell, everyone should see!)





















#20 - A worthy sequel/remake/reboot:

DAWN OF THE DEAD
(Also could have put The Thing)





















#21 - A sequel/remake/reboot that wasn't worth the celluloid it's was filmed on:

APRIL FOOL'S DAY
(Cannot stress how bad this is)
























#22 - A movie that made you cry:

FROZEN
(The puppy story made me weep)























#23 - A movie you walked out of (or straight up stopped watching):

BORDERLINE CULT
(Worst film I have ever seen)























#24 - A movie you watch for comfort food:

PSYCHO
(Love for Norman knows no bounds)
















#25 - A well-liked movie you don't care for:

MONSTER SQUAD
(Just don't get the mad love...)





















#26 - A movie you love that many do not:

GHOST STORY
(Tired of hearing it's too slow)






















#27 - A movie you can quote extensively:

JAWS
(You're gonna need a bigger boat!)






















#28 - A movie with a celebrity crush:

SLEEPY HOLLOW
(Anything with Johnny gets me off)





















#29 - The last movie you watched:

THE CALLER
(Surprisingly good thriller with Stephen Moyer)






















#30 - Another favorite movie that's not your favorite movie:

THE SHINING
(Thank you all and good night....)




















Sunday, August 28, 2011

Sunday Bloody Sunday

Deep Rising 

Death Dream

See Jane Run

Harpoon Whale Watching Massacre (yes, that really is the title!)

Deep Star Six

Sunday, August 21, 2011

Sunday Bloody Sunday

Stake Land

Day of the Dead

The Final Destination (FD4)

John Carpenter's Body Bags

Scar