As you may or may not know, Christine and I are massive True Blood fans.
Season 6 starts on Sunday, June 16, so to get all us Trubies excited, I made this list of five highlights from the Season 5 finale. Spoilers will most definitely ensue!!
1. Jason Talks to His Dead Parents
After
learning that Sookie and his parents were the victims of a age-old
faery pact, pledging their lives to a vampire, he becomes a little...
bitter. And begins to suffer from hallucinations, thanks to a bump on
his head that is "as big as a walnut" (according to Sookie). He begins
seeing his parents everywhere, and through them his hatred for vampires
is rekindled. Jason, you'll always be adorable, but get a grip!
2. Sam Shifts While Inside a Person
Luna's
daughter Emma (who has just learned how to shift into a wolf) is being
kept by Steve Newlin as a pet, and Sam and Luna are on a desperate
mission to save her. After gaining access into the Vampire Authority
building where Emma is being held captive, Luna makes the brave decision
to skinwalk as Steve Newlin. When she becomes sick and shifts back,
Sam, who has been in form of a fly buzzes into a fellow Vampire
Authority figure's mouth and shifts. This causes one bloody, explosive
mess, which I thought was fucking AWESOME.
3. Orgasmic Birth
Andy has
come to Merlotte's to tell Holly that he has been sleeping with a woman
named Claudette, and in the two short weeks since they had intercourse,
she has developed a full-term pregnancy. I guess the faery gestation
period is relatively short because Claudette goes into labor right there
in the bar. As they prop her up on the pool table, she seems to be
taking the birthing process in stride. In fact, she seems to be enjoying it.
After confessing that she has given birth roughly 70 times, she goes on
to pass a freakin' litter of kids, each with ecstasy. After finishing,
she lets Andy know that it is his job to keep them alive, and she takes
off.
4. Pam and Tara Swap Spit
I'm
not sure anyone expected what happened when Pam and Jessica were freed
from captivity within the Vampire Authority jail by Sookie, Tara, Jason,
and Eric. Sacrificing a little pain to swing open the silver-coated
jail door, Tara wraps her arms around Pam and plants a big, steamy,
prolonged kiss on her lips. Looks like there is a new couple in Bon
Temps. It's about time Pam started getting some love!
5. Bill is... What?!
At the
very end of the episode, Eric and Sookie are trying in vain to get Bill
to escape with them. However, he is still into his crazy hardcore
religious shit, and tosses back the entire vial of Lillith's blood.
First, he explodes into a puddle of blood on the floor, to which I
outright GASPED when I saw. I was like, "Are you fucking kidding me??!
They did not just kill Bill fucking Compton." But then, Eric and Sookie
watch in horror as a naked and blood-drenched Bill(?) rises from the
pool on the floor and snarls, revealing some wicked fangs. And of
course, that is where they close the fucking season. Oh, how they love
their cliff-hangers...
Tune in to see what has become of our Bill Compton and the rest of the gang on June 16th on HBO!!
*Editor's note: And if you haven't seen it, here's a sneak peak of the upcoming season!!
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