Wednesday, June 5, 2013

Home Sweet Murder: Fifteen Favorite Jaw-Clenching Home Invasion Films


My friends call me irrational, since I live in a pretty nice suburb in St. Louis, but I have a huge fear of home invasion. It is the scariest thing to me; people breaking into your house with no other motive than to torture and kill you.

Okay, I’m being dramatic, but that is the subject of a good number of movies, including upcoming thriller The Purge.

In anticipation of this flick, Christine and I have compiled this list of our favorite home invasion films.


1. FUNNY GAMES (1997)
Although there are two versions of this film, I decided to highlight the original Austrian film by Michael Haneke. A wealthy German family is tortured by two men who force them to play “games” for their survival. This film has considerably disturbing violence and subject matter—our seemingly remorseless antagonists lack of motive and extreme sadistic nature is utterly terrifying. /MR


2. WAIT UNTIL DARK (1967) 
In an Oscar-nominated performance, Audrey Hepburn is a blind woman who has lamentably been targeted by a group of drug-dealers who break into her apartment to try to locate their stash. Poor Susy (Hepburn) - she has no idea what is going on: that her husband unwittingly has gotten himself in the middle of a drug-deal gone wrong, and the heroin in question has somehow ended up at their home. The three men torment and harass Susy, until she uses her disability to her advantage and plunges the trio into complete darkness, where she is most comfortable. The tables are turned on these invaders. Great stuff. /CH


3. IN THEIR SKIN (2012)
Directed by Jeremy Power Regimbal, last year's home invasion thriller tells the tale of the Hughes family who have fled to their cottage in the woods to try to get over the death of the youngest son.  When a neighboring family joins them for dinner, it's obvious that the Sakowski clan covets the wealth and good fortune of the Hughes'. Things go south quickly, with the Sakowski's taking over the house and essentially imagining themselves replacing the Hughes family and living their lives. This particular film shows the invaders as not only violent but mentally unstable as well. Never a good combo.


4. HIGH TENSION (2003)
A strange and surprising film, this French piece by Alexandre Aja concerns us with Marie, who is visiting her best friend’s family in the countryside only to witness a psychopath break into the house and begin to massacre the family. Only she can save her best friend… right? /MR


5. INSIDE (a.k.a. À l'intérieur, 2007) This amazing yet ferocious French film made such an indelible impression on me that even now I don't think I've seen a more merciless killer than La Femme.  A young woman is spending Christmas eve alone after the untimely death of her husband in a car accident. She is nine months pregnant and due to deliver the next day. But it won't be a happy holiday when a mysterious stranger comes calling. And just...won't...leave.  She wants one thing and one thing only. The unborn child. And she will do ANYTHING to get it.  I cannot stress how utterly disturbing and unsettling this film is. Those French, they do it right. /CH

6. WHEN A STRANGER CALLS (1979)
Directed by Fred Walton, the psychological nature and menacing pace make this a truly frightening film, unlike it’s lame remake version. Based on an urban legend, it concerns a babysitter—-an occupation many of us have had—-and a psychopath terrorizing her from inside the home she is occupying. It leaves you wonder one haunting question. “Have you checked the children?” /MR


7. STRAW DOGS (1971)
Released the same year as the much-debated A Clockwork Orange, this fierce and gripping film (also remade in 2011) by Sam Peckinpah takes home invasion to a different level by having the victims actually knowing their perpetrators. Containing a controversial rape scene and an unusual amount of violence for the time, Straw Dogs brings a woman's worst fears to light, as well as her husband who is forced to question how far he will go to keep his family safe. That said, this is a fine film of revenge also, as a final invasion results in a confrontation that has the attackers being asked (and not so very nicely) to atone for their crimes. /CH

8. THEM (2006)
French film Ils concerns a French couple living in Hungary in a beautiful, remote house. Their peaceful, romantic existence is thwarted by a pack of hooded strangers who engage them in a sickly playful homicidal chase. Director David Moreau creates strong tension, raises emotions and tugs at your moral fibers in this unique, horrifying vision of home invasion./MR


9. DIAL M FOR MURDER (1954) 
Ahh, Hitchcock. The master of suspense was at his best in this early 50's classic. A man discovers his wife is having an affair and hires an old friend (a sometimes criminal) to murder her, plotting out the home invasion-style break-in gone wrong down to the last detail. Unfortunately, the plan goes awry and the wife ends up stabbing and killing her assailant with scissors. From there it all gets a little tricky, but those moments when the killer is hiding behind curtains preparing to commit murder are pretty tense. Hitchcock strikes again! /CH

10. A CLOCKWORK ORANGE (1971)
Although Stanley Kubrick’s masterpiece of “ultra-violence” isn’t exclusively a home invasion film, it does feature two of the most memorable and disturbing examples of one. Alex and his Droogs’ idea of fun is breaking into strangers homes, raping, and murdering them, in the most sadistic and bizarre ways. Although not for the faint of heart, this film is of course a classic that must be viewed! /MR


11. PANIC ROOM (2002)
In one of the better home invasion films of the last decade, Jodie Foster and Kristen Stewart star as a mother and daughter who have recently purchased a new home in which the previous paranoid owner had installed a safe room because he was a millionaire and nervous as hell about home invasions. Which of course is exactly what happens. David Fincher is, as always, a very capable and intriguing director, and he brings a sense of sheer dread and couch-gripping tension with this film that forces us to ask ourselves: just what would you do to survive?/CH

12.  BLACK CHRISTMAS (1974)
Often touted as one of the original slasher films, Bob Clark's Black Christmas (forget the remake, please) has a man hiding in the attic of a sorority house making threatening phone calls to the sisters. One by one the girls disappear, with the police finally determining that the disturbing phone calls are coming from inside the house. (Sounds like another movie on this list!). Word has it that this movie was inspired by a series of killings in Canada, which is always unnerving. It also benefits from being one of the first "holiday horror" films. /CH


13. HELTER SKELTER (1976)
An award-winning TV movie, this film tells the real-life story of the murders committed by the Manson Family back in 1969 and is based on the best-selling book of the same name by Vincent Bugliosi. Being on television doesn't water down the tremendous sense of doom as the members of the Manson cult broke into actress Sharon Tate's Benedict Canyon, CA. home and killed her and four others in a fit of violence and brutality. The Family then moved on to kill a couple nearby in their home as well. What makes it the most horrific is that the story is true. /CH


14. THE STRANGERS (2008)
I did not put these films in any specific order, but if I did, this one would be at the top. Not necessarily as my favorite, but as the most terrifying film on the list. This movie has suspense, atmosphere, dread and a true psychological effect. This is one of those movies that rather than watching it in a theatre, I find it scarier to watch it in your own home. A basic plot line of a couple terrorized by three masked assailants turns into a tense fight for survival. /MR


15. IN COLD BLOOD (1967)
And yet another true story made into a film, this one had the benefit of being adapted from the brilliant book by Truman Capote. It focuses on the deadly duo of Richard "Dick" Hickock and Perry Smith, men who took it upon themselves to break into a home in Kansas owned by the Clutter family and murder all four members "in cold blood".  Another "burglary turned into murder", an exhaustive search for the killers is then put forth. I doubt there is anything more scary than realizing someone is in your home at night, not just to steal from you but to end your life. This film is a goosebump-inducing thrill ride of the quest for criminal justice. /CH

These are films that show a horrifying side of human nature, contrasted by a person’s will to survive. Many of our antagonists are motivated by the simple urge to kill, and a good deal of these movies don’t come out with the happy ending our victims deserve.

The creepy mask quirk worked very well in The Strangers; let’s see how The Purge pulls it off, opening in U.S. theatres this Friday. Remember to lock your doors tonight, folks!

Monday, June 3, 2013

Revenge Is Sweet: An Exhaustive Countdown Of Messy Vengeance, Part TWO

It's been a while since the first part of this feature, and for that I apologize. (Life gets in the way sometimes, I'm sure all are aware of that and have the same issues sometimes!)

 But here is the second half of my list of favorite revenge films within (or around) the horror genre. 

Please do not take this as a definitive list. I reiterate that these are my favorites.

I'm sure there will be some films that are notably missing, and you're most welcome to post in the comments what your favorites are, whether they are found on this list or not.

So here we go with part two!  Enjoy!


 25) Theater of Blood (1973) - One of my first experiences with revenge films was watching Vincent Price in this 1973 chiller.  Price stars as a begrudged actor, Edward Lionheart, who after being ridiculed by critics and looked over for a prestigious acting award, sets forth to murder each of them in ghastly ways that in fact match the Shakespearean stories he so avidly admired. The ways in which Lionheart dispatches his victims (drowning in wine, electrocution, dragged behind a horse, decapitation, being forced to eat pet poodles, etc.) was pretty shocking for a young child such as myself, but I have always remembered the way I felt when I watched this film. Riveted!


24) Drag Me To Hell (2009) - From the mind of Sam Raimi comes a revenge film about Christine, a young woman (Alison Lohman) who denies an elderly gypsy (Lorna Raver) a loan at the bank she works at. The old woman needs an extension on her mortgage or she will lose her home. Christine, trying to impress her boss and get a promotion, declines the loan and all but throws the old lady out the bank doors. Word to the wise: Don't fuck with gypsies. All manner of hell breaks loose, with the title totally living up to its name.



23) Hard Candy (2005)  - When 14 y/o Hayley (a fabulous Ellen Page) decides to take it upon herself to flirt online with 30-ish Jeff (Patrick Wilson), she finally convinces him to meet with her. Thinking he's about to get lucky, they end up back at his place where she proceeds to knock him out with a drugged cocktail and tie him to a chair, where he wakes up and learns that she has known all along about his fixation on young girls.  She takes it upon herself to become his worst nightmare, a young vigilante who tortures him into admitting not only that he is a pedophile, but that he was involved in the death of a young girl in the neighborhood. Any man that watches this movie cannot help to cover his crotch and cry.


22) Sweeney Todd (2007) - You'd think a musical would be too happy to fit in a revenge category. Not so, however, with the case of Sweeney Todd.  While the 2007 feature film is not the first to tell the story, it stars my favorite actor, Johnny Depp - who plays the crazed barber with relish and wild abandon. Benjamin Barker was a happily married man with a young daughter when a wealthy judge went about framing him for murder so that he could step in and take his wife away.  Fifteen years later Barker returns from a long prison stint and exacts his bloody revenge on the judge (who now lusts after Barker's daughter!), with the help of Ms. Lovett -who makes meat pies out of murdered citizens! You gotta love it.


21) Dark Night of the Scarecrow (1981) - Even made-for-tv movies can pack a punch sometimes. This 1981 flick tells the story of Bubba, a good 'ol boy who is mentally challenged and totally harmless. When he befriends a young girl in his hometown and she goes missing (she is actually unconscious at a doctor's office after Bubba saves her from a brutal dog attack), Bubba is pegged as the guilty party without any kind of investigation. The unforgivable townsfolk form a lynch mob and set about finding Bubba.  Bubba's mother disguises him as a scarecrow, going as far as to hang him on a post in a field. The mob finds him anyway, torturing and murdering him. I think you know where the story goes from here.  Believe me, Bubba is sure to have the last word.

20}Prom Night (1980)  -When a pre-teen prank goes south and a young girl dies, the guilty parties try to cover up the crime. But someone has witnessed the deed and forges ahead with a revenge plot to make the now high school seniors pay for their deadly stunt. Jamie Lee Curtis stars in this 1980 slasher film, and her dance moves in the gymnasium at the titular dance are truly unsurpassed.  While the plot seems trite today by our standards, back then it was one of the classic slashers the early eighties were so populated with.  It's your standard revenge film, and truth be told doesn't hold up as well as say, The Burning, but it has its moments and I'm proud to say it's on my DVD shelf!


19} Audition (1999) - Oh hell. This consummate Takashi Miike movie is really an odd sort of revenge film, as the lead character of Asami is so psychologically fucked up that I'm not sure she even feels she is committing acts of vengeance.  It so happens that she has a penchant for torturing men that claim first to love her and then don't devote every waking moment to her happiness. Asami (Eihi Shiina) is so demented and obsessed that she can just sit by her phone for DAYS waiting for it to ring. When her latest conquest, Aoyama, does not return her calls immediately, she can't seem to move on. Worse yet, when she finds a photo of his deceased wife in his apartment, that is the final straw. She drugs him and proceeds to maim and torture him in what is one of the most famous (and ghastly) scenes of uncomfortable horror I've ever seen. 

18}The Grudge (2004) - This film is the epitome of revenge. It is said that when someone dies in the grip of a powerful rage, a curse is born.  Which is precisely what happened here. You can either watch the original Japanese film (Ju-on) or the Americanized version, but either way it's a fine slice of vengeance. Housewife Kayako unfortunately falls in love with her young son's American teacher and obsesses about him manically in her diary. Which her husband finds. Uh-oh.  He murders Kayako and then his son, along with his pet cat. And everyone that enters the doomed house ends up dead. It's how they get that way that makes the film a really spooky tale.  Some may say there are too many jump-scares in the 2004 version I mention here, and I don't disagree. Nevertheless, the core of the film and the revenge that stirs the plot are a force to be reckoned with.

17} Irréversible (2002) - A brutal film – at times almost unwatchable, Irreversible has the unique distinction of being told in complete reverse order. Which means the revenge comes near the beginning of this one, and it’s only later that you see – or should I say experience?- the brutality that warrants it.
Suffice it to say that it is only well after a man gets his head bashed in with a fire extinguisher that the attacker understands that the victim wasn’t even the man who deserved it.


16} The Descent (2005) – I don’t think our ‘final girl’ Sarah could have possibly had it any worse. First her hubby and daughter are killed in a freak accident, then she goes on a caving expedition in which the system of subterranean caverns are not actually known or mapped. Next, the freaky nocturnal humanoid crawlers show up. After which she finds out the girl that lead them down there not only led them astray, but previously slept with Sarah’s husband. Later in the caves, Juno leaves their mutual friend to die a horrible death, one which Sarah prevents by giving her a quick but gut-wrenching demise. So it’s no surprise to feel elated when Sarah wounds Juno in the leg with a pickaxe (ouch!) and leaves her for the crawlers to catch, making her own escape.

15} The Loved Ones (2009) - Australian horror films are some of my favorites, and this one has got to be at the top of the bunch. From 2009 comes a film starring the beautiful Xavier Samuel as Brent, a young man whose father passed away in a car accident in which Brent was the driver.  Six months (and a whole lot of cutting and maryjane) later, Brent is set to attend his high school prom with his girlfriend. He politely declines an offer from Lola (Robin McLeavy), who is utterly (and dangerously I might add) fixated on him. She attacks him when he is alone, drugs him, and when he wakes he is tied to a chair in Lola's house. Her father has decorated the house for a "dance" and after Lola injects bleach into Brent's voice box so he cannot talk (or scream), the torture just kind of worsens as you go. This. Film. Is. Awesome.

14} Hostel (2005) – While this isn't truly a typical "revenge" film, sometimes just a scene or two of feel-good vengeance can make a whole movie. I can’t express my feeling of gratification when that Dutch businessman got his comeuppance in the train station bathroom at the end of the film. Matter of fact, I do believe the entire theater where I saw it exploded in applause. That dude was creepy from the using-his-hands-as-utensils (!) get-go.


13} Pumpkinhead (1988) - People, I absolutely LOVE Pumpkinhead. It's a great kick-back to the old 'scary monster in the woods' type of film, and it delivers in spades.  Plus, you get Lance Henriksen!! Who can top that?  Story goes like this: Ed Harley (Henriksen) owns a general store out in the lower-class country. He and his little boy Billy are happy as clams until a group of asshole twenty-somethings come a callin'. The biggest dick of the bunch ends up killing Billy in an accident with a dirt bike. Harley is beyond vengeful and finds himself looking up a local witch who can help him conjure a murderous creature, Pumpkinhead, who will wreak havoc and dispatch every last asshole in a truly horrifying manner. As you would expect, things go off course fairly quickly.

12} Hostel 2 (2007) – Roger Bart is a creep. Well, at least he played one on tv…and in movies. In the second Hostel flick, he’s a swarmy dude who followed his BFF to Slovakia to kill for a price – and for the thrill of it. Initially, his buddy Todd is the one who is all gung-ho to slaughter his little blonde victim. Instead, he chickens out and it is Stuart (Bart) who has the balls to do the dirty deed. Alas, but not for long. He soon loses a certain part of his anatomy to a spit-fire intended victim who gives him up to save her own life. Combination “most oogie/truly bad-ass” part? The dog.


11} Ghost Story (1981) - A great tale of revenge by Peter Straub was turned into a chilling film of the same name in which a superb leading performance by Alice Krige sets the film apart from others of its kind. In small-town Vermont, a foursome of men commit an unspeakable yet accidental murder and pay for the crime for decades to come. Eva Galli teased and flirted with the quartet of young college students until one night a horrible mishap ends in her death, but she didn't stay dead. Isn't that the way it always goes?


10} Martyrs (2008) - This is a film that has so much brutality and awful content it's almost tortuous to watch. But it needs to be seen, and its writer/director, Pascal Laugier, is to be commended for not flinching and for making this ridiculously compelling revenge piece. Basically, we have Lucie, a young girl who has survived unimaginable horrors after being held captive for an unspecified period of time. She escapes and is put in an orphanage where she befriends another girl, Anna. Fifteen years later Lucie believes she has discovered who her captors were and violently murders them in their home, then calling Anna to help her clean up the mess. To tell more would be a disservice to those who have yet to see this gritty and truly fascinating (yet undeniably brutal) film. All I can say is, if you have a weak stomach you may want to steer clear.

9} Misery (1990) – Just the fact that a cast iron pig was used as a weapon of death is enough, right? But after all her “oogie messes” and “cock-a-doodie” comments, it was such a feeling of joy when her eyes finally crossed and we said goodbye to the lovely Ms. Annie Wilkes.
Wonder who got the real pig in her will?

8} Carrie (1976)  - Oh yeah. Now that’s a way to get retribution!  Burn down the whole place with everybody in it.  Perhaps they’re all gonna laugh at you…but then again, I think the joke was on them in the end. Who doesn’t smile (even just a little) when they see those gym doors slam shut?
After the tampon-tossing, name-calling, and fake-friending those assholes were up to, they deserved the wrath of Telekinesis Girl! Sounds like a super hero. I like it.
And you know what else? I’m glad she killed the damn gym teacher. That Betty Buckley kind of creeps me out.

7} Last House on the Left (2009) – I picked this version of LHotL simply because though it was completely implausible (you can’t run a microwave with the door open!), it was unique- and I wanted that jackass to suffer. And it also made a statement by showing that men can be pissed off and get revenge as well. Vengeance is mine, saith the pissed off daddy. In the original film, the mother of one of the murdered girls bites off the penis of the killer. That kind of rocked as well, revenge-wise.


6} Fatal Attraction (1987) – One of my favorite moments in a film…ever. Just when you think Michael Douglas is down for the count, a gunshot rings out. The camera then pans to Anne Archer and the smoking evidence that she is not just a woman scorned, but a woman who stands by her man. Then back to Glenn Close, sliding down the wall and leaving that lovely red streak while she falls into a lump. Redemption then gratified the hell out of us.


5} The Woman in Black (1989) - This film version of this chilling story by Susan Hill is in my top five favorite films, any genre. Yes, it was just remade last year (starring Daniel Radcliffe), and while that was an acceptable offering from Hammer films, the original is just a far better spook-fest.  Arthur Kipps is a lawyer sent to a small village in rural England to close up the affairs of one Alice Drablow, who lives across the marsh in a remote old estate that is unreachable until low tide. As if the isolated location isn't eerie enough, the titular character (who first shows herself in a graveyard, standing in the distance) is downright chilling. She appears like a breath of evil and startles the viewer into submission every time. This film emotes a devastating and dreadful tone that lasts until the very last minute on screen. I just cannot recommend it enough, if you can find it. I've written about it several times here on the blog, so check it out.

4} I Saw The Devil (2010) - This is seriously my new favorite revenge film, ever. From the mind of Kim Ji-woon comes this brilliant South Korean gem about a man who will do anything to find the killer of his fiancé.  Joo-yun (Oh San-ha) is driving home in a snowstorm when she gets a flat tire. Unfortunately, Kyung-chul (Choi Min-sik) is her would-be rescuer. He's a serial killer, and things do not end well for Joo-yun. When her fiancé  Soo-hyun (Lee Byung-hun) finds out about her death, he becomes absolutely obsessed with finding, torturing, and eventually killing Kyung-chul. The best part is the fact that Joo-yun is a secret service agent, which proves to be a very unlucky turn of events for our murderer.  Graphically violent, beautifully shot, surprisingly emotional, and very well acted - I Saw The Devil is one of the best films I have seen in over a decade, at least.

3} Freaks (1932) - A year after Tod Browning gave us Dracula, he bestowed upon us a film so delightfully wicked that it was banned in the UK for decades and was quite the controversial piece. Taking place at a carnival setting, Browning used actual sideshow performers as his cast, giving the film an unsurpassed realism. A trapeze artist, Cleopatra, discovers Hans (one of the midget sideshow performers) has a hefty inheritance and so she seduces and marries him.  His fellow performers (all "freaks" themselves), take it upon themselves to determine Cleopatra's true colors after one of them overhears her plotting with the strong man (she's been sleeping with on the side) to kill Hans. What the group ends up doing to get their revenge for years of ridicule that have culminated in Hans' humiliation is the very best part of this wonderful old film. See it!

2}Ms. 45 (1981) - One of the best revenge films is one perhaps many haven't seen because it isn't strictly marketed as a horror film. It's an awesome movie starring Zoë Tamerlis Lund as Thana, a mute woman who is attacked and raped not once but twice in the same night - by two different assailants! While the possibility seems entirely unheard of, the film doesn't back down from hard-to-believe events one bit. After the second attack, Thana kills the perpetrator (with an iron, no less), keeps his gun (yep, a .45), but loses her sanity. She begins to get a feel for the vengeance, and starts killing off folks like it's free. If you haven't seen this one, may I recommend it wholeheartedly!

1} Day of the Woman/I Spit on Your Grave (1978) – How could this not be number one?  DotW is a hard-ass, suck-it-up-and-take-it kind of film. I saw it oh so long ago when I was waaaay to young to be exposed to something of its lurid and controversial content. The simple premise: a young beauty comes to a cabin in the woods to write a book and is tormented and later accosted and raped by a group of good 'ol boys.  But she doesn't just lie down and take it. Oh HELL no. A powerful statement of revenge, it made me feel all warm inside when Jennifer gives one of her attackers a nice bath…and proceeds to take her revenge, quite literally. Score!

Man, I feel better all the sudden....

Thursday, May 30, 2013

Grave Encounters 2: Another Dose Of Creepy Reality/Found Footage Fare

~Review by Marie Robinson

Almost everyone it seems watched 2011’s found footage flick, Grave Encounters, and I don’t think I talked to a single person that disliked it. I also enjoyed it, and although it didn’t get the big theatrical release and publicity that Paranormal Activity, the superstar it shares a sub-genre with, I think it was just as good—if not better. I liked it enough to pursue the sequel, Grave Encounters 2, that was released in 2012, also written by the Vicious Brothers but this time directed by Canadian director John Poliquin.

The film starts out as a montage of various horror fans critiquing and reviewing the first film via YouTube. One of these critics, Alex (Richard Harmon), happens to be our protagonist. After his review is finished we enter the camera of his college roommate, Trevor (Dylan Playfair), who feels it is necessary to film every moment of his life (as all people in found footage films do), including dumb parties.

Seriously, I almost turned this movie off within the first ten minutes because I was really getting sick of the fucking frat boy/stoner jargon. But… I trudged through the scene that seemed to last a lifetime, pleased to see that on the other side of it was an actual movie.

Alex doesn’t just review horror movies in his spare time, he lives for them (relatable). He is studying at film school to be “the next Wes Craven”, but from the glimpses we get of his student film—starring his love interest, Jennifer (Leanne Lapp)—it looks like he has got a ways to go.

He gets a mysterious video response to his Grave Encounters review by from a YouTube account called “deathawaits”. Alex begins to feel suspicious about the film after looking into contacting the cast and crew, only to find that they have all disappeared. He suspects that the film was not just another found footage flick, but real found footage, a suspicion that is confirmed by the shady producer.

With encouragement from “deathawaits” and a thirst for the truth—and some potential “Sundance worthy” footage—he convinces his friends to accompany him to the set of Grave Encounters, an actual abandoned asylum on the outskirts of Vancouver.

The idea of a sequel in which a fan becomes obsessed with the original film isn’t completely unheard of (see: The Human Centipede 2.  Actually, don’t), but it still fresh and interesting. Grave Encounters 2  is no masterpiece, it isn’t sophisticated, and it isn’t even really a thrill ride, but it is entertaining and atmospheric as hell. It is kind of like walking through one of those staged haunted houses that pop up around Halloween; you walk through the creepy sets, clinging to a friend’s arm knowing that any second something is going to scare the shit out of you—but you don’t care! That is why you’re there, after all. It has got the sounds (lack of score is essential to that special flavor of found footage we have come to know so well), the visuals, and yeah, it is fuckin’ freaky. You could ask more of a film like this, but if it has done its job and has fulfilled all it set out to achieve, then you are just being an asshole.

Sure, Grave Encounters uses some of the most textbook tropes in the genre, but as a fan I kind of enjoyed it. I mean, the conventional cast of creepy characters exist for a reason—the little girl with the long, dark hair, nurses, psychotic, lobotomy-obsessed doctors—and that is because they are scary!

Another trend that these two films feed off of and are even making fun of is the paranormal investigative reality TV shows. There are dozens of them, and they are pretty much all the same. You know what I’m talking about. A team of paranormal investigators pick haunted locations (often old tuberculosis wards and mental institutions) and walk around with night-vision cameras on and pretend to see shit.

"Ghost Bros"
 There are a few of these programs I am guilty of liking (Ghost Hunters, Scariest Places on Earth), but there is one that I really abhor. It is called Ghost Adventures but I have fondly dubbed it “Ghost Bros”. If you haven’t seen it, watch it. It’s hosted by this meat-head douche bag that wears Ed Hardy shirts three sizes too small and gels his hair up like Pauly D and says, “dude” and “bro” all the fucking time. As I was watching Grave Encounters 2 I couldn’t help giggle and imagine the Ghost Bros team stumbling into this particular Canadian asylum and being trapped there forever and hopefully lobotomized (if they haven’t been already). Sick, I know.

 That might have gone a little off topic… okay, here is my abbreviated opinion: I had a great time watching Grave Encounters 2, even if the acting was shite and the ending was all over the place. I’d watch continuing sequels of it over Ghost Bros any day.

Wednesday, May 22, 2013

True Blood: Waiting Sucks! (But Less Than A Month To Go....!)

~by Marie Robinson

As you may or may not know, Christine and I are massive True Blood fans.

Season 6 starts on Sunday, June 16, so to get all us Trubies excited, I made this list of five highlights from the Season 5 finale. Spoilers will most definitely ensue!!
1. Jason Talks to His Dead Parents

After learning that Sookie and his parents were the victims of a age-old faery pact, pledging their lives to a vampire, he becomes a little... bitter. And begins to suffer from hallucinations, thanks to a bump on his head that is "as big as a walnut" (according to Sookie). He begins seeing his parents everywhere, and through them his hatred for vampires is rekindled. Jason, you'll always be adorable, but get a grip!

2. Sam Shifts While Inside a Person

Luna's daughter Emma (who has just learned how to shift into a wolf) is being kept by Steve Newlin as a pet, and Sam and Luna are on a desperate mission to save her. After gaining access into the Vampire Authority building where Emma is being held captive, Luna makes the brave decision to skinwalk as Steve Newlin. When she becomes sick and shifts back, Sam, who has been in form of a fly buzzes into a fellow Vampire Authority figure's mouth and shifts. This causes one bloody, explosive mess, which I thought was fucking AWESOME.

3. Orgasmic Birth

Andy has come to Merlotte's to tell Holly that he has been sleeping with a woman named  Claudette, and in the two short weeks since they had intercourse, she has developed a full-term pregnancy. I guess the faery gestation period is relatively short because Claudette goes into labor right there in the bar. As they prop her up on the pool table, she seems to be taking the birthing process in stride. In fact, she seems to be enjoying it. After confessing that she has given birth roughly 70 times, she goes on to pass a freakin' litter of kids, each with ecstasy. After finishing, she lets Andy know that it is his job to keep them alive, and she takes off.

4. Pam and Tara Swap Spit

I'm not sure anyone expected what happened when Pam and Jessica were freed from captivity within the Vampire Authority jail by Sookie, Tara, Jason, and Eric. Sacrificing a little pain to swing open the silver-coated jail door, Tara wraps her arms around Pam and plants a big, steamy, prolonged kiss on her lips. Looks like there is a new couple in Bon Temps. It's about time Pam started getting some love!

5. Bill is... What?!

At the very end of the episode, Eric and Sookie are trying in vain to get Bill to escape with them. However, he is still into his crazy hardcore religious shit, and tosses back the entire vial of Lillith's blood. First, he explodes into a puddle of blood on the floor, to which I outright GASPED when I saw. I was like, "Are you fucking kidding me??! They did not just kill Bill fucking Compton." But then, Eric and Sookie watch in horror as a naked and blood-drenched Bill(?) rises from the pool on the floor and snarls, revealing some wicked fangs. And of course, that is where they close the fucking season. Oh, how they love their cliff-hangers...

Tune in to see what has become of our Bill Compton and the rest of the gang on June 16th on HBO!!

*Editor's note:  And if you haven't seen it, here's a sneak peak of the upcoming season!!

Saturday, May 4, 2013

Trifecta Of Terror! : "The Books Of Doom Derby"

We're back again with more terror in threes! I couldn't resist doing a Trifecta of Terror today on Kentucky Derby Day!

If you're not familiar with the Trifecta series, you can learn the ropes HERE.  Basically, I choose three films with a similar topic or like-minded idea that would compliment each other for a quiet afternoon of horror, or an evening with nachos and friends.
I then have a virtual "race" with the three films coming in first (the "win" film), second (the "place" film) and third (the "show" film).

Today we are highlighting nasty books. Well, films about nasty books. So I'm naming this one the Books of Doom Derby!

First up, your winner, a film everyone should be familiar with: THE EVIL DEAD (1981).

Billed as "the most ferociously original horror film of the year" back in 1981, The Evil Dead is the brain child of now-famed director Sam Raimi.  A bare bones story about a group of friends who discover an ancient evil in the woods surrounding an isolated cabin uses a fast-paced shaky cam, gruesome effects, and at times, wildly humorous acting to make this film near and dear to so many genre fans' hearts.
Ash (Bruce Campbell) and four friends arrive at the typical cabin in the woods for a little weekend getaway. Straight off one can certainly see this is not going to be your average spring break.  The cabin reeks creepy, and the film wastes no time getting to the action. The group, after exploring the (vast) basement, finds a book bound in human flesh and written in blood, as well as a recording that summons ancient Sumarian demons from the woods outside. The book, called the Necronomicon "Naturon Demonto" - is loosely translated as The Book of the Dead. Which is something you should never (EVER) even remotely try to read and/or translate. Yikes. Needless to say, they do.  Which causes the demons in the woods to come alive and wreak havoc - turning Ash's friends into possessed zombie-like demons who spew liquids of every color and consistency. Ash is one of the great heroes of horror and this little low-budget gem is the film that started it all!

Our 'place' film is THE BEYOND (1981)

Another film from the great year of 1981, Lucio Fulci's masterpiece a.k.a The Seven Doors of Death tells the story of Liza, a young woman who inherits the Seven Doors Hotel in the bayou of Louisiana.  Little does she know the hotel is built over one of the seven gateways to hell. Nice. Fulci gives us a ton of gore (including his trademark eyeball gouging) and goo, as well as a rather incoherent plot at some points. But it matters not, as this feature is widely considered to be Fulci's best.  The book in question within this movie is The Book of Eibon - a tome used frequently in Lovecraftian tales - which implores "Woe beyond to him who opens one of the seven gateways to hell… because through that gateway, evil will invade the world!” If that isn't an anti-Hallmark greeting I don't know what is. Probably the best part of The Beyond is that it is fairly unpredictable. Which is no doubt because much of it doesn't make sense. Not that that is a bad thing. Even with the plot being all over the place, you have a perfect combination of gore and confusion that is so popular in Italian horror. There are face-eating tarantulas, face-melting lye, impalings, nasty eye removals, blown-off heads, ripped out throats...should I go on?

And our third place "show" film is THE NINTH GATE (1999)

Roman Polanski is certainly better known for his other films (Rosemary's Baby, The Tenant, Repulsion, among others), but for me, one of my greatest guilty pleasures is this Johnny Depp vehicle about rare book dealer Dean Corso (Depp) whose client recently acquired a book known as 'The Nine Gates of the Kingdom of Shadows', supposed to be one of three known copies. His client (the always charismatic Frank Langella) believes two of the three copies to be fakes, so he sends Corso on a quest to discover the truth.  The catch is, the book is supposedly written by the devil himself, and reading from it can summon Lucifer.  (Why do people feel the need to be this stupid? Seems to happen a lot...)  The film takes viewers to various locations around the globe trying to authenticate the devilish tome, and along the way Corso meets many a foe intent on stopping his investigation - not the least of which may be the enigmatic client.  Certainly one of the better "books of doom" films out there, it is an atmospheric jaunt with a great cast and a fun plot. If you haven't seen it, check it out.

Thursday, May 2, 2013

Maniac (2012): A New Take On An Old Classic

 Review by Marie Robinson

You are probably (hopefully) familiar with the 1980 slasher Maniac; however, you might not know that a remake was released last year. As far as I know it has only been shown at film festivals so far but looks like it is receiving a limited release in the States in June.

Usually I try and go into remakes with an open mind and not compare the film with its original too much. Because, after all, it is a separate movie and deserves at least a chance to be treated as such. Remakes can be pointless and annoying when they are just a total carbon copy of the original (Gus van Sant’s Psycho), or are just fucking bad (2010 A Nightmare on Elm Street). Taking a completely different spin on the original concept and recreating a film can go a lot of different ways. In my opinion, this year’s Evil Dead was a bold move, a new vision, and it turned out great.

 The 2012 Maniac was directed by Frank Khalfoun and written by Alexandre Aja, who we can now consider to be quite a name in the horror industry. He is not unfamiliar with writing remakes, as he penned 2006’s The Hills Have Eyes, but has also given us some original pieces such as High Tension and Mirrors.
 
The movie is quite the reinvention of the original; almost every aspect is different. Different doesn’t mean bad! But it is different. First of all, the iconic poster for the 1980 version is the lower half of a hulking man, a severed scalp in one hand, a hunting knife in the other, and an engorged mass of genitalia between. The new posters remind me a bit of Drive. One is of a stern pair of eyes gazing back from a rear view mirror reflection; the other, that I have chosen because I like it better, kind of has an Inferno feel to it with the pink and blue color scheme.

The main character, Frank, is played by Elijah Wood. My initial reaction to this was, “Uhhhh, what?” Mostly because the original Frank is a massive, less-than-attractive Italian-American dude (played by Joe Spinell) and Elijah Wood is a scrawny, decently attractive Caucasian guy. However, we know that Wood is a good actor, and that he can bring on the creepy intensity (who can forget his performance in Sin City?). He is also a self-stated horror and genre fan; he and horror director Josh C. Waller created a film production company called The Woodshed Horror Company. They already have at least six films signed! There isn’t much info about most of them because they are in pre-production, but a couple you can look into are Toad Road and A Girl Walks Home at Night.

In the new film, Frank is a lonely and very disturbed man who runs a shop were he restores manikins. He also has a haunting obsession with his deceased mother—who is ultimately responsible for his mental instabilities—and deals with this by stalking young women, murdering them, and taking their scalps back to his shop where he glues them onto his manikins and pretends they are his girlfriends. He believes he has found love in a French photographer who shares his passion of manikins, but will his obsession get the best of him? Will mother get in the way again? Can he suppress the urge to take a beautiful woman’s life?

If you have seen the original you probably know the answer to that already, but I’d say Maniac is still worth the watch. It is very strange, and the subjective camera style (similar to the 1980 film) may take a minute to get used to, but it is very cleverly shot. Writer Aja really tries to make the film a study of an unsound mind, much as he did with High Tension. He is known to have graphic gore abound in his scripts, but director Khalfoun does it elegantly and sees that it does not take away from the story.

Wood gives a great performance as Frank, especially once you consider that he is only on screen half the time and is acting mostly through dialogue and grunts, screams, and cries. I did yearn for more shots of his famously expressive eyes, but he can give a strong performance without them.

(Emblem for The Woodshed Horror Company)
I’m still not sure how I felt about this film; I’ll have to sit on my feelings for a while longer. It is bizarre, understated, and in my opinion pretty damn unique. I think I am having more fun reflecting on it than I did actually watching it! Weird, I know, but that is exactly what Maniac is. I really think you guys should check it out when you get a chance and let me know what YOU think! Until then, hold on to your scalps!

Oh, and I will be writing up more on The Woodshed Horror Company as I hear about it, so keep an eye peeled if you are interested in that.