Friday, March 8, 2013
Do You Have To Watch That Right NOW? (Or: Living with a husband who doesn't share a love of horror)
I'm sure there are a whole slew of other horror fans who are in the same boat as I am. So what IS it like to live with someone whose life does not revolve around horror?
I started dating my hubby nearly twenty-seven years ago – longer than a lot of you have even been alive. So what was popular in horror back in 1986? Well, the good ones were films like Aliens, The Fly, Henry: Portrait of a Serial Killer, The Hitcher, even April Fool's Day. Nothing really earth-shattering though. But the bad? They were pretty damn bad. Like Sorority House Massacre, Poltergeist II, Spookies, Maximum Overdrive, and Vamp, among others.
So instead of introducing him to my favorite genre in the way I could have, we were stuck seeing things like Platoon, Top Gun, Cobra, and Heartbreak Ridge. (Not that those are bad films, far from it. Just not horror.)
Basically, he would never say he dislikes horror, and will often go with me to see the latest genre film. He sat through Daybreakers and The Wolfman with me, but didn’t go see Let Me In or Sinister. In that respect, he chose poorly.
But he still gives me one of those heavy sighs or a big ‘tsk! when I slide Night of the Living Dead into the DVD player. (Even though he's watched it countless times and has even taken me to the actual NOTLD cemetery.)
He hates foreign films, claiming he cannot tolerate subtitled movies. Personally I think that is because he doesn’t want to read while watching the action on screen, or perhaps he has ADD and can’t do two things at once. It could be either.
Matter of fact the first time he came home and I was watching The Beyond, I do believe he was so appalled at the poor quality of the film as well as the completely pointless plot that he just turned and walked out without saying a word.
He has in fact, watched Tenebrae though, and states it’s a “mostly tolerable” film (!)
So, moving on from Italian horror, we attack the French. Not literally, but that might be nice, right? Anyway. The hubby can get down with the French. Mostly. Well, not really…
But while watching these films, he doesn’t really want to have to pay attention to the questionable plots, he’d rather just watch the violence. As in High Tension. Or Frontier(s). But when he watched Irreversible he couldn’t stand the fact that it started from the end and worked towards the beginning. He just despises that technique and is verbal about telling me so.
For this reason, he has yet to see the fabulous Let the Right One In. (But he's seen and enjoyed Let Me In on DVD. He just doesn't understand that it comes from a superior foreign edition.)
Gore. Yeah, he likes it well enough. But I like it more. I think it has to again do with the sub-par plot lines of many of the most gruesome flicks. He did like Hostel. But what wasn’t to like? Naked girls and lots of blood. Ditto that with Hostel II. So I guess you could say he’s a fan of Eli Roth, if pressed.
But something like Dead Alive or even Martyrs? Nah. Martyrs is a double whammy cause you’re adding in the foreign aspect.
I have a special place in my heart for those films, but I watch them alone.
Same goes for Hammer horror. He saw most of them back when he was a kid but laughs, no – cackles, hysterically at them now. I guess he just thinks they are pretty hokey. And they are. But again, they’re awesome, right?
And can we just forget Godzilla and everything associated with it? I own the original Gojira, and when I watched it once when he was home, he sang the theme music out loud for three days in a mocking tone.
I’d have to say his favorite horror films are a lot like the films anyone else without an obsession or great knowledge of horror would be. Halloween, The Exorcist, and Jaws. In other words, nothing off the wall or eccentric.
He does, however, have a great love of all things Jamie Lee Curtis – so movies like The Fog and Prom Night are always welcome on our flat screen.
We do agree on a few things. The never-ending remakes are getting out of hand, 3D has worn out its welcome, hand-held camera flicks are nauseating, and most CGI is an overrated, obnoxious mess. Oh! And we both love Kurt Russell.
All of that being said, how do I live with someone who isn’t as into horror as I am? I mean, I most often live and breathe horror. I spend hours on my laptop writing about it when I’m not watching it. It can be really difficult for me to deal with the fact that even though I have an entire library of horror to choose from at any given moment, I may not be able to watch what I want when I want. I can kind of understand, as if it were up to me, I’d watch nothing but horror. And then where would I be? Without great flicks like When Harry Met Sally, Rocky, Gladiator, Braveheart, Grease, Forrest Gump, The Breakfast Club, Sideways, and The Godfather films– all of which both of us love.
*I cannot rent exclusively horror from NETFLIX. If he wants to see the latest Expendables or Transporter movie, what can I say?
*I don’t generally watch two horror movies back to back, unless he's asleep, isn’t home, or it’s October – all bets are off in the tenth month and he knows it.
*I don’t ramble on about horror to him 24/7, although I most certainly could.
*I try to appreciate things like Bruce Lee marathons, movies about gladiators, and dumb-ass inane comedies. Though I draw the line at anything with Chris Farley in it. Just no.
* I have to forgo horror some nights to let him watch American Pickers, Pawn Stars, or any random VH1 show about the greatest hits of the 70's.
*And I promise not to spend all my time online, though sometimes that seems difficult.
He’s actually more than tolerant with my obsession. He reads my blog and tells me mine is better than anyone else’s (of course he’s not only required to say that but to be honest he doesn’t read anyone’s but mine). He understands my sincere and undying devotion of all things Norman Bates, and appreciates Jaws (almost) as much as I do. He even helps me decorate for Halloween, and always is the official carver of the seasonal Jack-o-lantern.
He’s forgiving of my fixation with horror. He gets me, and for that I’m thankful. He sits through (and falls asleep through) a whole big heaping pile of horror. Even enjoys some of it.
Often he knows I’m itching to re-watch Argento’s Opera and so he’ll retreat to the den to peruse eBay for a couple hours. God, he’s tolerant.
So what I guess I’m saying is that I’m lucky. I’ve got a guy who is able to deal with me watching all the horror I can get my hands on. He doesn’t make me turn it off, he accepts that I cannot stop adding to my ridiculously large DVD collection. He even endures listening to the over-abundance of horror movie scores I’ve accumulated. And he’s proud of my writing – not only for my blog, but all the other places I turn up.
But if I'm being honest, what I’d really love to be saying is that my hubby loves to sit down with a glass of the red stuff and have a marathon of Evil Dead, Zombi 2, Friday the 13th, Profondo Rosso, and the 1977 version of Piranha, you know?
But hey, marriage isn’t perfect – I’ll take what I can get :)