Traditionally, Fascination with Fear has done a month long blog-a-thon each October in celebration of the holiday season. But I feel it's important to let the few readers I still have the facts. This year has been a very difficult one personally, as my mother is very ill and it has been a serious challenge to find the time to write. In fact, she's just had another hospital admission this week and it's left me convinced that my time is just too strapped to consider any seriously wordy posts.
Hence, I've decided to adapt the "Wordless Wednesday" feature into "A
Wordless October", where I will post some of my favorite creepy pics.
Some of the pictures will be taken from previous posts here and there
and some will be new to the blog.
First though, an explanation that may ramble off course but is as sincere as it can be. This has been a very rough year, and going forward I'm unsure how much
time I will have for one of my favorite escapes, which is writing, and
in turn, this blog. But it will stay up and always be here for me to add
to when I am able or feel compelled to do so. I'm still watching
horror and enjoying all the genre has to offer, especially this time of
year. Horror has always brought me great comfort, which I know sounds
insane. But when I've had an exceptionally trying day or week, nothing
brings me more comfort than throwing JAWS or FRIDAY THE 13th in the Blu
Ray player and settling in with some tea or a hefty glass of straight-up
bourbon. The familiarity of hearing the same lines and watching the
same scenes I've seen dozens of times somehow makes me feel like all is
right with the world. I can escape from all the worries of the day.
Being horror fans, many of you can relate to this I'm sure.
Many times over I've been asked what does horror mean to you? Well
folks, that's it: comfort. It's something I've been coming to since I
was a youngster watching Godzilla movies on Saturday afternoon or
reading Stephen King under the covers with a flashlight when I should
have been sleeping on a school-night. It's the joy of the terrifying
written word and the bliss of the scary story on the screen, be it big
This blog has been around almost a decade of my life.
I used to take great pains and spent countless hours trying to post at
least every few days and at the blog's most prolific point was sometimes
posting daily. When I would skip several days it felt like something
was missing. I likened it to being a movie or rock star, if you don't
keep making movies or singing, they forget you. Sounds stupid but it's
generally a true statement. I HAD to keep writing.
When I started out back in 2008, there were several of us horror
bloggers in it at the same time, names I became familiar with soon
advanced into friendships, many of which I still cherish and have to
this day. It was fun times! But as the years pass fewer and fewer of my
friends were still hanging in there and writing on a regular basis. Some
got other horror gigs that occupied their time, some found other things
in life that became more important, some got married or had kids and
literally had no time, and some quit all together. Some moved on to
writing books or screenplays, some are acting and directing. A few even
tired of the genre all together. I miss the camaraderie of guest
posting on each other's blogs, chatting on AOL (there's me dating
myself) about horror, of emails and Facebook messages and just getting
to know each other as friends. One by one, a lot of the blogs from that
era have closed up shop. And I get it, I absolutely get it. I love
writing about horror and am grateful for the opportunities that this
genre has provided me. First of all, it's made me a better writer,
editing and proofreading and growing as a writer just came naturally
after all these years. I was even able to write for publications such as
Fangoria and Paracinema. I received free films and books in the mail to
review, I've met authors I respect and admire. I've even been nominated
for Rondo awards. But most of all I've made lasting friendships. And I
want to thank all those horror pals for all they've written in the past
for my and countless others' enjoyment. You guys rock, and continue to
do so. Love you.
The thing is, and I feel it is the same with many of the other friends
of mine in the horror community, life gets in the way. It goes on. It
pulls you in different directions and swirls with the unexpected
challenges we're meant to face to make us better. Other things take up
too much time and we find ourselves struggling to find a few hours just
to WATCH a film, let alone review it. It can take so much of the joy out
of watching when you end up trying to concentrate on everything you
want to write in your review. It's nice to just simply enjoy a movie as
the entertainment it is. And unless we're actually getting paid as we
are in our real jobs, it just becomes less important to document every
detail for the twenty people that read your blog on a daily basis. There
is life out there folks, beyond the Wordpresses and Bloggers of the
World Wide Web. Would I like to make a living writing about horror?
Sure, I'd be lying if I said I wouldn't want that. But with a 40+ hour a
week medical management job filling my days, it's just not possible to
expend the energy necessary to keep up. I applaud those who can, I
really do, but I'm just too fucking tired. And hey, I've actually found
time to read again! It was always so hard to finish a book because I'd
lay it down for days at a time so I could write on the blog. RIF, kids!
Reading is fun!
My writing cohort, Marie, has gotten married and started back to school,
so she is finding it equally as difficult to keep pace with what the
world throws her, leaving little to no time to contribute anything
either. Like I said, life gets in the way, sometimes unexpectedly,
sometimes totally planned.
And you know, at first I thought it made me a failure-- for not finding
the time to post reviews or lists or even just a random "Sunday Bloody
Sunday". I worried that others were moving on to more important things:
writing books, making movies, contributing to big name horror sites -
some of them even making money doing it. And that's all fine. But then I
finally realized I could only be ME. I am who I am. I didn't really
want to move to Hollywood and be a screenwriter. I've no desire to make
movies. I don't want to talk about the latest Funko horror toy to the
masses. I don't even need to meet Kane Hodder or Robert Englund at the
nearest convention to respect and appreciate their work. I just want to
enjoy horror. To have that escape waiting for me at the end of a shitty
day. To go to a horror flick on the third weekend and sit in a darkened
theater alone - not to go to the crowded first weekend just to raise
numbers. To sit quietly and read the new Stephen King novel without
someone wanting me to hurry and critique it.
Life is too short not to just love yourself and do whatever the hell makes you happy.
So for now, please forgive the brevity of the posts coming at you this
month. And enjoy it, as it might be a while till my next offering.
Thanks so much for reading.
*Quote used for the title by none other than Stephen King.