Well, it's possible I have seen part of this. Either that or I have just seen the main Wishmaster dude in pictures and clips. It actually looks pretty scary. HE actually looks pretty scary, kind of like the Creeper from Jeepers Creepers. But am I correct in saying this guy is a demonic genie? Does he have a bottle? How is he summoned? What does he want after you make your wish, and how many wishes do you get? Does he want you to do unspeakable evil? Does he want to take your soul to hell? (Doesn't everyone these days?) And my most burning question remains: how the hell did this movie get three sequels?
Why doesn't this sound like a horror film? It sounds like a movie about a gang from the wrong side of the tracks or something. Is it a film about vagrants? Hookers? Homeless people? I'm confused. I understand it has a huge cult following, but I'm just not feeling it. The movie poster does nothing for me, and to be honest it looks really stupid. I know I will offend with that comment, but someone is going to have to list this film's merits and perhaps I'll give it a go. I do respect all your love for it though. Horror fans are eclectic and proud. So never fear, I won't make fun of you for appreciating it.
Here's another one I'm not entirely sure I haven't seen. Some of the 80's are a blur to me, and 1985 was one of those years when I did a lot of drinking after football games. It's possible I may have subjected myself to this one at someone's sleepover, but I really can't be sure. What is this about? A rather ambiguous title, don't you think? Any pics I've seen always has....well, stuff drooling out of their eyes and mouth, so I need to know just what the hell is going on before I take the plunge. Please advise.
THE HOUSE ON THE EDGE OF THE PARK
Hmm.... David Hess. Must contain reprehensible, misogynistic material, right? Let me guess...he's a career criminal that abuses, rapes, and kills women. Does it have a plot? Is there a reason to watch it, other than for completeness sake? I know it's a Deodato film, so that gives it some credibility in horror circles, correct? It's one of the video nasties on "THE LIST" so I assume there's a ton of violence. Are there different versions, like a trimmed down, less violent one that I should avoid due to continuity problems? Do I really need to see this? Does it bring anything new to the table at all? Or is it just a free-for-all kill-a-thon that I'd do well to avoid?
I've heard of this one, many times. I always thought it was a comedy. Is it? I'm not crazy about comedy in horror. (Unless it's as good as say, Shaun of the Dead or Young Frankenstein). When I found out it stands for "Cannibalistic Humanoid Underground Dweller", I knew it had to be ridiculous. So I just never saw it. Avoided it like the plague. Still have no desire to see it, even though it has some decent stars in it. Am I making a mistake here? What actually happens? How are these "dwellers" released from underground? Is it an apocalyptic movie? Where do the CHUDs come from? Again, I'm just not feeling it.
KILLER CLOWNS FROM OUTER SPACE
Yeah, clowns just don't do it for me. Pennywise from IT scared me well enough, and of course the Poltergeist clown episode scarred me for life. But sitting through an entire movie (because I can't call something with killer clowns in it a "film") full of the jolly - yet demented and murderous - idiots just isn't my idea of fun. Can someone convince me otherwise? Why are these clowns in space? Why does it take place in space, or doesn't it? Are the clowns intimidating? I'm guessing no, but perhaps I've got this all wrong. I'm afraid it's going to take a lot of convincing for me to waste my time with this one.
