Even though I knew it was going to be awful, I still rented this flaming sack of cow dung just to see how bad it really was. Well, it's a boring, utterly ghastly (and not in a good way) movie about a couple that are house sitting a property that belongs to the girl's parents. Said girl - Kelly - is played by the very pretty Ashley Greene of Twilight fame, with boyfriend Ben (Sebastian Stan) hanging the moon for her pleasure.
At the very beginning of the movie we see Ben, doing his best ghost hunter impression with a few other like-minded folks...except they bring something back (from beyond....um, yeah - that's original) that is now following them, including our guy Ben. Which means Kelly is in trouble too, as it has emerged as a force to reckon with at their current living space.
|"Stand back! I won't allow them to steal your teddy!"|
The two leads are trying here, and it can be said that they did give it the old college try. But though they may be good in other films, they struggled to hit the mediocre mark here. It was almost laughable how many ridiculous facial expressions Ashley Greene delivered. Funny thing is, they all ended up virtually the same. All looking somewhere in between constipated and bored to tears. LIKE ME.
Thankfully for the male viewers of the film, she showed a bit of skin.
|The Many (?) Faces Of Ashley Greene|
Plainly said, this movie is so outright boring that I was actually writing this review as I suffered through it. All we were subjected to were loud noises, lights flashing off & on, some carefully placed shrieking, doors opening by themselves, and strange molds growing on the floors, ceilings, and of course in the basement. (Why do spirits these days feel the need to manifest as MOLD? Try something less icky next time!) Kelly finds out Ben was lying to her (which in all actuality he just 'didn't tell her' all about his past spook hunting and "scientific supernatural studies") and she swiftly kicks him out of the house - leaving her alone to face the ghost/demon/entity of the week all by her lonesome. Have we learned nothing from watching past horror films!?
|"No! We can't watch this crap anymore, dammit!'|
|Now THIS is what I'm talking about....|
(The Innocents, 1961)
So believe me when I tell you - don't watch this movie unless you are faced with making the decision to either watch this film or watch paint dry.
I know what I would choose.