Wednesday, May 22, 2013

True Blood: Waiting Sucks! (But Less Than A Month To Go....!)

~by Marie Robinson

As you may or may not know, Christine and I are massive True Blood fans.

Season 6 starts on Sunday, June 16, so to get all us Trubies excited, I made this list of five highlights from the Season 5 finale. Spoilers will most definitely ensue!!
1. Jason Talks to His Dead Parents

After learning that Sookie and his parents were the victims of a age-old faery pact, pledging their lives to a vampire, he becomes a little... bitter. And begins to suffer from hallucinations, thanks to a bump on his head that is "as big as a walnut" (according to Sookie). He begins seeing his parents everywhere, and through them his hatred for vampires is rekindled. Jason, you'll always be adorable, but get a grip!

2. Sam Shifts While Inside a Person

Luna's daughter Emma (who has just learned how to shift into a wolf) is being kept by Steve Newlin as a pet, and Sam and Luna are on a desperate mission to save her. After gaining access into the Vampire Authority building where Emma is being held captive, Luna makes the brave decision to skinwalk as Steve Newlin. When she becomes sick and shifts back, Sam, who has been in form of a fly buzzes into a fellow Vampire Authority figure's mouth and shifts. This causes one bloody, explosive mess, which I thought was fucking AWESOME.

3. Orgasmic Birth

Andy has come to Merlotte's to tell Holly that he has been sleeping with a woman named  Claudette, and in the two short weeks since they had intercourse, she has developed a full-term pregnancy. I guess the faery gestation period is relatively short because Claudette goes into labor right there in the bar. As they prop her up on the pool table, she seems to be taking the birthing process in stride. In fact, she seems to be enjoying it. After confessing that she has given birth roughly 70 times, she goes on to pass a freakin' litter of kids, each with ecstasy. After finishing, she lets Andy know that it is his job to keep them alive, and she takes off.

4. Pam and Tara Swap Spit

I'm not sure anyone expected what happened when Pam and Jessica were freed from captivity within the Vampire Authority jail by Sookie, Tara, Jason, and Eric. Sacrificing a little pain to swing open the silver-coated jail door, Tara wraps her arms around Pam and plants a big, steamy, prolonged kiss on her lips. Looks like there is a new couple in Bon Temps. It's about time Pam started getting some love!

5. Bill is... What?!

At the very end of the episode, Eric and Sookie are trying in vain to get Bill to escape with them. However, he is still into his crazy hardcore religious shit, and tosses back the entire vial of Lillith's blood. First, he explodes into a puddle of blood on the floor, to which I outright GASPED when I saw. I was like, "Are you fucking kidding me??! They did not just kill Bill fucking Compton." But then, Eric and Sookie watch in horror as a naked and blood-drenched Bill(?) rises from the pool on the floor and snarls, revealing some wicked fangs. And of course, that is where they close the fucking season. Oh, how they love their cliff-hangers...

Tune in to see what has become of our Bill Compton and the rest of the gang on June 16th on HBO!!

*Editor's note:  And if you haven't seen it, here's a sneak peak of the upcoming season!!

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