Sunday, November 2, 2008

Jigsaw's back!

So, in the great tradition of Halloween, I went to see Saw V.

My favorite uncle, Shawn, and I always go see a horror movie near Halloween, and the last several years it has been a no-brainer what to see. (Regardless of the fact that this year there wasn't much to actually choose from, seeing as how studios ripped 'Trick 'r Treat' from release yet again, 'The Haunting of Mary Hartley' sounds like a Lifetime movie of the week, and 'Quarantine' seemed to make a hasty exit into oblivion...)

But hey, we've been watching Jigsaw make his magic happen since way back.

This year is no different. Lots of traps, loads of blood, and enough confusion to make a Logic professor have sleepless nights.
Now, I don't want to give the impression that we are seeing something new here, or even that this is one of the better horror movies of the year (I'd give those kudos to 'The Strangers') but hey, it was Halloween, people!)...
Saw V is completely unoriginal and the concept is absolutely redundant and convoluted - purely there to throw some torture porn your way. So check your brain at the door (no pun intended) and just deal with it.

But Jigsaw died at the end of part 3! - you say.
Ahhh... but there is always a creative way to keep a killer in a scary movie, ask any horror buff.
If you 'saw' part 4, you know they did an autopsy on the creepy dude - so how do you bring someone back from that?

This ain't how.... (but it's a great photo and it does have a hidden meaning)

And try to remember Jigsaw has a habit of not working alone. Remember Amanda?
And by bringing in new characters, there always seems to be a method to his madness.
Besides, if Tobin Bell doesn't have the eeriest, if not one of the most recognizable voices in film, I'll eat my hat (though I'm actually not wearing one...)

You just have to have that "hello Amanda... I want to play a game" thing going on!

I can't really go into the plot without giving key points away, so I'll just say that though the traps are pretty decent - they may be running out of ideas at this stage of the game.

it sucks to be you, dude!

But I like the one best where there is a giant pendulum type blade swinging over this poor guy -suffice it to say it doesn't end well...

you can't see the overhead blade, but he sure can.

And in true Saw fashion, there are time constraints.
Never enough time before the door 'locks and shuts for all eternity'.
Never enough time before the guy next to you stabs you in the back, on purpose!
Never enough time to figure out the trap before it slams shut and somebody's body is never the same.
Never enough time to find the secret warehouse where all these traps and gizmos are set up.
Never enough time to secretly wish you hadn't killed, cheated, stole, or lied in your lifetime.
Never enough time to wish that freaking puppet would wreck his damn tricycle!

just. never. enough. time.

time is just about up...

End game.

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