Saturday, January 30, 2010

Re-casting CLUE...

I've always loved Clue.

Call me a geek, call me silly, whatever. When I was a kid I played the board game any chance I got (yes, I'm from the era when we didn't have X-boxes and Play Stations, ok?) and was really good at it. And I thank my mother for all those hours she sat and entertained me.

When they made the movie back in 1985 I was all about that.
It is hilarious, I don't care who you are.

So....I've always wondered what it would be like to re-make it (not that it could ever reach the same ridiculous comedic tone the first one had) and so today I give you my re-casting choices.

A dream cast from the get-go, can't you just imagine the movie with these actors in the roles?

The original cast:

...and my choices, starting with Wadsworth the butler.

Tim Curry was fab. No doubt made the entire film. So I was thinking who else could lend that much humor to the role - and naturally Simon Pegg came to mind.

* * *

Casting the house help wasn't too hard.

First, Jenny McCarthy in the role of Yvette (played by Colleen Camp in the original)...
Jenny has the comedic chops and the (a-hem) body to get this one right.

* * *

The cook, Ms. Ho (Kellye Nakahara of M*A*S*H fame) will be replaced with Kathy Bates.

I believe she has some previous experience with kitchen utensils at some point in her career.

* * *

And now for the main players:

Christopher Lloyd as Professor Plum...

Philip Seymour Hoffman as the perverted Professor.

* * *

The wonderful Madeline Kahn brought life to Mrs. White...

I see Anna Paquin as a somewhat younger version of the "grieving" widow.

* * *

Michael McKean as the closeted Mr. Green would be replaced by:

Steve Carell. Because the man is funny, okay?

* * *

Eileen Brennan played Mrs. Peacock the bribe-accepting politician's wife.

Like I said, dream casting. Meryl Streep could be kooky enough if she wanted to.

* * *

Martin Mull, to me, would be hard to top. His performance in the movie as the always curious, nervous-Nellie war profiteer, Colonel Mustard was my favorite.

Could Gary Oldman break a smile long enough to portray the part?

* * *

I really wanted to go different for Miss Scarlet, for as much as I liked Leslie Ann Warren, I never thought she matched the playing card enough, you know? She, to me, didn't exude the sexual chemistry that I thought the role deserved.
I thought long and hard and in the end, after I'd had several possibilities (Eliza Dushku, Kate Beckinsale) I settled on an actress not as well known for movies as for television.

Lindsay Price would have been a perfect choice for Scarlet. I can absolutely see her with the cigarette holder that was so popularized over the years and all the different versions of the game. I think she's quite sexy, and I like the idea of having someone with not as much star power in the role.

* * *

I also picked out a Mr. Boddy, the blackmailer who is killed off in the beginning and is the entire reason everyone is playing detective in the first place.

Lee Ving (actually a punk rocker from the band, Fear) portrayed Mr. Boddy in the movie.

I've cast Alec Baldwin. Well, because he looks the part.

* * *

Let's not forget the three unfortunates who came to the door of the mansion that evening during the nefarious events.

A stranded motorist:

Jeffrey Kramer/Josh Hartnett

* * *

A singing telegram girl:

Jane Wiedlin/Katy Perry

* * *

And a policeman:

Bill Henderson/Tony Todd (because I had to give the genre great some love...)

* * *

And who could be better to replace Howard Hesseman (in a cameo seen only in the rare fourth ending version) as the police chief?

Why, Tommy Lee Jones, of course!

* * *

There you go. Bad choices or inspired casting?

Comments? Opinions?


Bill (RSR) said...

Inspired! I might have to pop this one in tonight.

forestofthedead said...

Really great choices.

Chuck Conry said...

I greatly approve of this cast!

The Divemistress said...

Clue is one of my all-time faves! Though I would, in fact, hate to see the film re-done, I wouldn't mind so much if it had this new cast. Fantastic choices!

William Malmborg said...

I loved the game while growing up as well, and then remember my Mom renting my brother and I the movie during a sleep over and just loved it. The cast of characters you chose for a remake would be great.

Damn, now I want to see this movie again. Thanks a lot. I need to buy this one.

Andre said...

Love Clue!

Hahaha Chuck loves the cast but.... especially the choice of Katy Perry.

These are all such great choices! I nodded in agreement with every single one! Ms. Scarlett has always been my favorite- I'll probably be her for Halloween next year- no biggie.

The Mike said...

Very nice. I always liked the idea of Peter Serafinowicz as the butler, but Pegg is quite fine too. I might bump him to Mr. Green in my super cast. Also I'd fit in Julianne Moore (Mrs. White?), but I'd do that to any movie.

PianoMan2527 said...

I love the original as much as you dear sister, but I would pay to go to the theatre to see a remake with this cast. All excellent choices! I need to watch it again.

Anonymous said...

Inspired casting! I'd forgotten this movie, I'm going to have to seek it out and buy it now. My daughter's Clue-obsessed at the moment.

Shelagh @ KinderScares

The Film Connoisseur said...

The only thing is I would give the role of Mrs. White to Helena Bonham Carter, who would look great as a black widow type of lady character.

James said...

Wow. Now THAT'S a cast.

C.L. Hadden said...

Wow, I just noticed there are at least five Academy Award winners (and multiple nominees) on that list. It would have to be the most expensive film ever;)

Oh, and Film Connoisseur: Like the Helena Bonham Carter idea, wish I'd have thought of it.

Emily said...

For years before the discover of IMDB, my brother and I were convinced that The Cook was indeed played by Kathy Bates, so spot on in that front.

And yes, I'm a HUGE fan, as my Halloween costume can prove:

the jaded viewer said...

I think if Alec Baldwin played Mr. Body, he'd win an Oscar.