First of all, I have to say that I am a huge fan of AMC's The Walking Dead. I think it's the best thing since sliced bread, I really do. I anxiously await Sunday evenings like I did this past summer when True Blood was on...
And I am certainly a big fan of a whole heaping handful of zombie movies. But....
True confession: I don't like zombies. At all. They are not my monster of choice. And I'm really trying to understand what compels people to love these foul creatures so much more than anything else. I also realize I'm in the minority here, but I feel like I have to speak my mind, so bear with me.
Zombies are gross.
They stink, they're ugly, they're basically brainless, they leak all kinds of bodily fluids, and they have poor fashion sense. So I don't get the weird obsession a lot of horror fans have with dressing up like disheveled, rotten zombies and hanging out at the mall, at any other time than Halloween, of course. You can get a pass in October in general I guess.
Maybe I'm just being a bitch about it, but sometimes I just want to say please stop making your face up into frightening visages and lumbering around mumbling "brains", okay?
You will never see me at a zombie walk. There, I've said it. Just isn't gonna happen, so don't ask. And I live near Pittsburgh, where zombies are sacred. I guess.
Everybody has their thing, I get that. But dead people who want to eat human flesh? Really? What is this obsession with eating flesh, body parts, brains, etc...? Are you people cannibals? Do you want to be?
Or is it just cool to imagine your guts being ripped out and eaten like spaghetti? Again I say: Really?
If you want to like zombies it's certainly your right, but it's my right to say I'm just tired of all the hoopla. I've read several articles and blog posts about people being sick of vampires and vampire movies, so I wanted to get in my two cents about my least favorite "monster".
When I'm watching a zombie flick, I do not feel akin to the zombie. I want the humans who are trying to obliterate them to succeed, and violently. I want the zombies' heads to be blown off so they shut their mouths and stop that damn moaning.
My favorite zombie moment is in the remake of Dawn of the Dead when Ana kills Steve. That was a woot woot moment if I've ever seen one. I want all the zombies to die. Again.
However, when I watch a movie about vampires or werewolves, heck - even serial killers for that matter, I can feel for them. They still seem human somehow. Probably because they still have thought process and I can relate to them.
But zombies? They're just chasing after you. They want to EAT you for heaven's sake!
In my mind, nothing could be more frightening than being eaten alive. I fear shark attacks, grizzly attacks, heck - I fear an attack from the pit bull down the street - so why would I not be scared shitless if I had some loathsome, brain-dead chap trying to bite off my damn arm?
Even if a vampire does his worst, biting your neck and sucking out all your blood - or even ripping your throat out - at least it's relatively quick. I don't want to witness my own death by watching someone rip out my liver.
You know what else? There are too many damn zombie movies. Just searching under the word 'zombie' on Netflix yields a vast array of choices: Zombieland, Zombie Strippers, Zombie Town, American Zombie, Zombie Holocaust, Zombie Lake, Tokyo Zombie, Zombie Campout, Zombie Honeymoon, Zombie Nation, I Zombie...and that's just under 'zombie' - don't even get me started on 'living dead'.
And yes, there are a ridiculous amount of vampire films as well, I'm not saying there aren't. Bad ones at that! Though I'm an avid vampire fan, I have no desire to see most of those crappy films about my fanged favorites, so I sure wouldn't check out the appalling conglomeration of zombie films either. The market is flooded with these damn things. Somebody needs to do something different, damn it! Stop making crappy zombie movies, I implore you.
So I guess I'm asking what everyone likes about zombies? Is it just a cool way to kill people in the movies, or is there something else there? Why the love for the unsightly undead? Do you actually love them? Want to have a relationship with them? I don't get it.
And why do you want to dress up like zombies (other than on Oct. 31st)? Because it is more socially acceptable to appear in public as a repulsive zombie than a hairy werewolf or fang-flashing vampire? And if that is the truth, I have to say, why??? Why on earth would that be any more acceptable?
And do you know how ridiculous you look? Yeah, I know - it's all in fun.
No difference to me, I still don't get it.
So... the reason I love The Walking Dead is because the story is just so compelling and people-oriented. You grow to care about the characters, not the zombies.
The depth of emotion portrayed in this television series is just staggering. It's no wonder the show was the biggest premiere in AMC's history, it was just phenomenal.
The special effects, especially the makeup, are stellar, and the acting is realistic and utterly first-rate.
But still... I'm not a fan of zombies. I love the show, but I want all the zombies to die. Most especially after they killed that horse in the premiere episode, I'm still reeling from that travesty!
Likewise, in Night of the Living Dead for example, I don't find myself hoping the zombie in the cemetery kills Barbra (though after her extended fit of hysteria, the thought does cross my mind), I'm hoping she gets away. Aren't we supposed to want that?
I won't say I HATE zombies, as that's a bit harsh. Because I enjoy (some) movies about zombies - and certainly The Walking Dead - but zombies are still disgusting, vile creatures that I dislike pretty much to my core.
There, now I feel better.