Saturday, July 23, 2011

Hot Cops in Horror: Lock Me Up And Throw Away The Key....Please


So since it's 147 degrees out (okay, only 93 but cut me some slack, we've been in and out of triple digits all week here in the Mid-Atlantic), the heat has been front and present in my mind.  You know those stupid old sayings about frying an egg on the sidewalk and if you can't stand the heat you better get out of the kitchen?  Well they sure ring true.  Though coincidentally, if you actually ARE out of the kitchen AND hungry for eggs, you're all set.  My point is simply that it's beyond hot.

Which got me thinking of other hot things, and led me to the fact that I've been inside most of the last couple of weeks, watching movies.  Movies that I've noticed a lot of law enforcement in.  Did you ever stop to think how many horror movies have police officer characters in them?  A vast amount.  Never-ending. 
With that rambling intro I give you:  my favorite hot law enforcement.  Cops, Federal Marshals, detectives, FBI, secret agents, CSI, private dicks - all are welcome here...


First up, the mighty fine Josh Hartnett in 30 Days of Night.  Say what you will about the film, I could care less.  If it involves me watching Josh for approximately 110 minutes...I'm there.

I will always love Mickey Rourke.  And while I am sorry for what his face has turned into, I do have fond memories of him in movies like 9 & 1/2 Weeks and this gem:  Angel Heart.

No, I'm not the biggest Brad Pitt fan, not at all.  But in Seven, he had a scruffy cuteness to him. Plus, we all know what he can look like, if he's really putting effort into it. 


See what I mean?

My newest crush, Byung-hun Lee, is just a flat-out beautiful man.  But don't let that distract you - he's all business as a Secret Agent tracking down a serial killer in I Saw The Devil.  Mesmerizing.

Let THIS distract you...


I have to give a mini-shout out to Kevin Zegers, who in this pic from Dawn of the Dead looks like he's half crocked and about sixteen years old.....but.....
Let us not forget he actually looks like THIS...
I'm sure everyone knew Johnny was going to show up at some point.  And oh does he ever.  Here, he plays a detective from hell.  (See what I did there?)


A man and his horse.  I could ask for no more.  Well I could but it just wouldn't be proper.  Johnny plays a police constable in Sleepy Hollow, and let's just say I'd like to be cuffed and stuffed.

Broodingly handsome indeed.

Let's hear it for Kerr Smith in the updated My Bloody Valentine.  They make those police chiefs younger every year, I think. 

Does all law enforcement have that brooding tactic down pat or what?

Because I'm a big fan of Aidan Quinn, I had to stick this pic from Practical Magic on the list.
He can investigate me anytime.

Not truly horror, but I had to find a place for Robert Downey, Jr. in here somewhere.  I love everything about him and liked Sherlock Holmes strictly due to him.

Mark Ruffalo and Leo DiCaprio as a couple of mid-1950's U.S. Marshals in Shutter Island.
 See?  Not all Marshals look like Tommy Lee Jones. Oh, and nice tie Leo.

Here's Mark again, this time sporting some snazzy plaid pants and a stylin' turtleneck to hunt down the Zodiac Killer in the aptly named: Zodiac.

I can certainly tell you not all private investigators look like John Terry in The Resurrected.

There's hardly a list that I could think to come up with that wouldn't include my home-boy, Timothy Olyphant.  He just makes me swoon.  And you know what?  He plays a law-man a lot.  Aside from his Emmy-nominated role in Justified, he looks hot hot hot in the Sheriff's duds here in The Crazies.

...and he looks hot while NOT in the Sheriff's uniform as well.

....and he looks hot in next to nothing in A Perfect Getaway (in which he does not portray any type of law enforcement but is Special Forces.) Special indeed.

TV has loads and loads of sexy cops. Including the men of Twin Peaks.  I had the biggest crush on Michael Ontkean (Sheriff Harry S. Truman) way back when.  Kyle MacLachlan as Special Agent Dale Cooper isn't too shabby either.

Doing what good cops do.

As Special Agent Seeley Booth, David Boreanaz makes forensic television even more worthwhile watching on Bones.

Be still my beating heart.  Shemar Moore is only one reason to watch the superb Criminal Minds.
But he certainly is the finest-looking reason.  Whoa.

Ditto that sentiment for George Eads as Nick on CSI: Crime Scene Investigation.

On the fantastic new series, The Walking Dead, our two main characters are cops trying to deal with zombies running amok. 

John Bernthal as Shane Walsh.....

...and Andrew Lincoln as Rick Grimes.

All kinds of hot right here.  On the wrongly-canceled Moonlight, Alex O'Loughlin stars as Mick St. John, a private investigator who moonlights as a vampire.  Whoops...scratch that, reverse it.

And here's what he looks like when he's not hiding from the sun.

And finally, my favorite cop in all of horror-dom.  Or is that "dumb"?  The shamelessly thick-headed lunk, Jason Stackhouse (Ryan Kwanten) of True Blood.  Jason really has no training in law enforcement and tends to get himself into more trouble than the criminals.  But daaaay-um... he looks so good doing it.

...and did I mention he looks good doing it?

4 comments:

Pax Romano said...

Girrrrllll, all I have to say is , "Book 'em Dano!"

Shemar, Brad, John Bernthal, Mark Ruffalo and Ryan all in one blog posting!

Is it hot in here? Whew, I need a tall cool glass of something. ;)

Christine Hadden said...

Okay, so I see you left me have Johnny, Timothy, David, Josh, and Alex. I knew we could compromise! Cheers! ;)

James Gracey said...

Wait, this can't be right Chris. Where oh where is Springwood's finest - Deputy Dewey Riley??!! ;)

Christine Hadden said...

I probably should have included Dewey on the list, but I really couldn't find a pic that didn't have him looking completely goofy. LOL.