Gushes of (True) Blood: A Love Letter to Lafayette Reynolds

With the impending season finale of True Blood on Sunday, I decided I had to get another love letter in before things wrap up for another year.

And so there is no one else I'd rather pledge my eternal devotion to than Lafayette Reynolds, the sassy and flamboyant short order cook/drug dealer/medium/style guru of Bon Temps.

In True Blood's source material (The Sookie Stackhouse/Southern Vampire series by Charlaine Harris), poor Lafayette doesn't even make it to book two.  Thank heavens for Alan Ball, who obviously saw something to be saved in Nelsan Ellis's portrayal of the over-the-top homoerotic jack-of-many-trades. Truly one of the best-written characters on television these days.

Dear Lafayette - or can I call you La La?

Wow, have you had a rough four seasons or what? When you first happened upon the scene in Merlotte's I was pleasantly surprised at how damn entertaining you were and on top of that - what a snappy dresser!  Your brazen sexuality displayed at every turn, you were at times the only bit of fun we were allowed in all the crazy vampire drama and shape-shifting madness.  I'll admit I laughed more than once at your choices in men (senators and pathetic 'middle-aged' vampires?!) as well as your pornographic pursuits and colorful language.
Matter of fact your retribution at that trio of trailer trash who dissed you at Merlotte's made my entire night.  Who can forget "In this restaurant, a hamburger deluxe comes with french fries, tomato, mayo and AIDS!" Whoo-ee, that was fun!

You kind of got put through the ringer though, didn't you?  I thought for sure when you were kidnapped at the end of Season One it was going to be curtains.  Selling that V didn't do you any favors.  First all that crap with Eddie, then chained up in Eric Northman's basement - yeah, time to stop the madness. But you managed to get out of that jam - although just barely!  And your ensuing case of PTSD was nearly the end of you. 

But even with all these things you kept your fantastic sense of humor and your unbeatable vocabulary.  Not everyone can pull off the line:"This shit is goin faster than fritters at a fat farm" and get away with it.  And your sense of style - Oh honey! 
And I guess that we shouldn't forget that you and Eric kind of came to terms and are somewhat congenial at this point - he bought you a new car, gave you some blood that made you as hyper as a badger, and set you back up at selling V.  A weird relationship but hey, no stranger than anything else you've done.

I have to say though, I know you try to watch out for your spiteful, high maintenance, bad-tempered cousin Tara, but seriously she just seems to bring you down.  She's always getting herself into trouble that you have to bail her out of.  She's a constant pain in the ass and is forever bitching about something.  She needs to get the hell out of Bon Temps, for good this time. 
Taking her to see your lovely but mentally unstable mother was a fine idea, but Tara apparently needs to be bashed over the head for anything to sink the hell in.  Hopeless cause, seriously!

Then you go and get yourself all messed up with that maenad from hell, Maryann.  Hard to imagine that you were so easily manipulated by her, enough to kidnap Sookie to bring her to Maryann's little par-tay in the back yard.  Seems trouble seems to follow you everywhere you go.  Knowing what we know now, I can't help to think what you might have been able to do to Maryann if your medium powers would have surfaced a little earlier. 

Reuniting with your mother left a lasting impression on you though, right?  And I don't mean by your mother - I mean by your own personal 'sex-on-a-stick', Jesus.  Hitting it off immediately (and why the hell not, Jesus is a fine piece of ass indeed), the two of you set out to discover the darker sides of yourselves by doing some V together and tripping out quite rightly.  And I know you were pretty freaked out by Jesus's admission that he is a brujo (witch), but it is also how you found out (from Jesus's wacky Mexican family) that you are a medium.  Obviously that would have come in handy a few years ago when you were locked in that dank basement at Fangtasia.  Or even when rowdy customers at Merlotte's get a little out of hand.

So we fast forwarded a year and you & Jesus are still together and cohabitating, which I am totally in favor of.  You two are the cutest couple on the entire show. 
But then you go and let that deranged wiccan Marnie get all up in your business and things have went south ever since.  I'll admit seeing Jesus work his magic has been intriguing, but then there's the whole medium thing.  First you allow one of Jesus's dead uncles to possess you (admittedly to save Jesus from a mortal snake bite), then you move on to a wronged slave named Mavis - luckily you helped her and her baby find their way to the afterlife, and made me laugh hysterically in the interim. 

But you didn't stop there.  Unfortunately, here we are at the end of Season Four and again the cliffhangers we are presented with involve you being in danger and endangering others.  Seems to be a trend with you.  But it's really making for interesting stuff!

All in all, I truly hope things work out in the end Lafayette... I'd simply hate to have anything happen to you.  You're the best part of my Sunday night and I couldn't stand it if I didn't see your lovely mug and hear you utter words like 'hooka' and 'day-um' again! 

Your loyalty to your friends is unsurpassed even though everyone generally behaves so reprehensibly on this show that they are far from deserving of your trust and devotion. You're forever trying to make the best of the shitty situations you almost always end up in, so hopefully you'll come out smelling like a rose again. 

So thanks, Lafayette, for giving me so much happiness over the last four years, and if my hunch is correct, you'll live to see another day.  And yet another season. 
Here's to the resident slice of chocolate delight on True Blood - you will always have my full attention and undying affection.

Love, Christine