Wednesday, December 30, 2009

10 Observations about Jennifer's Body

Just watched Jennifer's Body last night, and in lieu of the standard review that everyone has already done quite well across the horror arena, I'm just going to hit on some of the random observations I made while watching this one.

1) Even when they tried to make Megan Fox look like a pile of excrement, she still was better looking than anyone - I repeat, anyone - I went to high school with.

2) Needy's spring formal dress looked like something circa 1984. Why why why? Was she really that geeky? Glasses do not a dork make.
I mean -she had a boyfriend, was copulating with said guy, was BFFs with the prettiest girl in school... that doesn't really scream nerd to me. (Besides, she got the cute guy in that ABBA movie, right?)

3) Diablo Cody is apparently jonesing to be the new Kevin Williamson. Some of the witty banter was actually out of the range of my allegedly (according to my husband!) bottomless vocabulary. Lots of slang in there people, a lot of which in all likelihood, went straight over the head of anyone over 25.

4) For instance, I had no idea "salty" meant 'really attractive'... Go figure. Sounds funny to say Johnny Depp is soooo extra salty.

5) The whole 'fire in the dive bar' cut it just a wee bit too close to that Rhode Island situation back in 2003. I wouldn't have went there, I really wouldn't have.

6) Didn't Jennifer's nasty demon teeth look vaguely familiar? I'm thinking Pennywise the Clown, here.

7) Annoyed me a bit to see Low Shoulder's party van loaded down with things (like a huge book about witches that I actually own) that are supposedly satanic. For the last time, witches do not worship Satan.

8) Do demons really spew black X-Files-ish gunk? Seriously? Lately, it sure seems that way.

9) No explanation was really ever given for Needy's cryptic mini-psychic routine. She can sense that Jennifer is doing something really bad!! (Oh, brother.)

10) The movie's semi-lesbian overtones kept my hubby planted firmly on the couch throughout the whole film - and he doesn't always finish a horror film with me. He was almost shouting for more.

All in all, not a bad film. Not first-class or divine or anything, but campy amusement.

HorrorBlips: vote it up!


D Swizzle said...

No worries. I'm fifteen and I had never heard the word "salty" referred to anything but overcooked chicken soup in my life.

Franco Macabro said...

Jessica Alba is extra salty. Thats freaking hilarious, problem with using terms like those is that in the next ten years, no one will know what they mean.

I wanna check this one out, though it sounds like a cliche filled film to me.

Has anyone actually ever SEEN a demon? Nope, so they can basically do whatever you want them to in a movie. They can have glowing red eyes, they can make noise as they walk, they can be either completely invisible, or made up of latex make up effects...take your pic, they can be whatever cause no ones ever seen one!

But they sure can make a movie scary. Or cheesy. IT could go either way. But most of the time, its cheesy.

B-Sol said...

I got a kick out of this one. Sure, nothing earth-shattering, but fun. Only thing, and you touched on this, but Diablo Cody is a painfully annoying and self-aware dialogue writer.

Monster Scholar said...

The kids nowadays and their lingo. BTW love your bangs in the hostess pic.

I though this film might have something to offer more than just a good time but alas that is not the case.

As for Needy's psychic abilites it might be like when two girls hang out so much that their cycles synchornize, allowing Needy to sense Jennifer's menstrual rage! Or not. ;)

Anonymous said...

Good observations.
I kinda loved this movie, but I'm the minority.
Just wanted to chime in on the RI club fire thing. I lived in RI at the time and I didn't find that plot point in poor taste. Maybe I'm lacking a soul. Just my personal take.