Monday, October 26, 2009

The Hills Run Red : Yeah, I like to nitpick a little.

The Hills Run Red is about an obsessed film student's life mission is to find an obscure horror movie - one that was made in the 80's and is supposed to be the goriest, most graphic flick ever put to celluloid. Apparently it was banned and was unable to be released due to the ridiculously violent content. Only a select few have ever seen it.

Our captivated fan, Tyler (Tad Hilgenbrink) begins his search for said film by locating the daughter of the film's director. Alexa (Sophie Monk, who bears more than a passing resemblance to Charlize Theron) is working in a seedy strip club and while we see her coming onto him in a back room, we also see Tyler's girlfriend Serina (Janet Montgomery) and his best friend Lalo (Alex Wyndham, who apparently drew the short straw in the 'really bad character name' contest) having sex in their apartment. Nice.

Anyhoo - Tyler takes Alexa home to her squalid motel/home to try to convince her to help him locate the lost reels. In the car, she snorts coke, the once at the motel she shoots up heroin or the likes and pretty much passes out, useless to him.

When Alexa wakes up she finds Tyler has tied her to the bed - and not for sexual favors. He has taken it upon himself to help her kick the habit. Which, unbeknownst to me, can be done in just three days. Presto! Clean and sober!

Because he's just been so damn good to her, Alexa agrees to help him in his quest to document his search for the missing footage. With the cheating girlfriend/best friend combo along for the ride (one is responsible for the camera, the other for sound) they all get in the car and head out to find the various locations used in the film.

Apparently Alexa was actually in the film. She was quite young, but as they go along she seems to have one of the most remarkable memories I've ever seen. She recalls all the places where scenes were shot. Wow - really something considering she was like, 7 or 8 when the movie was filmed AND her mind should be raped of all sensible thought with all her drug abuse. But hey, it's only a movie, right?
So they hike deep into the woods -like 47, 381 other horror movie characters have done unsuccessfully over the years- to find the locations.

There was one moment where I just had to slap myself on the forehead in a sheer WTF! moment. They are out in the middle of the godforsaken woods and Tyler looks up and says "Wait!... this is where they filmed the tree scene!" (Allegedly, one of the gorier moments in the film they seek is where a girl is hung from a tree by hooks in her skin and subsequently pulled in half, which they show - and thank heavens for that cause nothing else had happened so far!)
But Tyler's moment of blinding clarity was truly stupid. Every freaking tree looked identical, and he pinpoints the two trees where the scene was shot from a two minute trailer for the movie that he saw.
Oh my.

("Look! It's THE TREES!")

A bit of confusion set in when Tyler was trying to explain the plot of the film. Basically the killer - aptly named Babyface because he sliced off his face as a kid (?) and replaced it with the mask of a doll - is just your average run-of-the-mill hack 'em up kind of guy. Much like Jason Voorhees, he strives to find new and inventive ways to kill (which in my opinion gets a C- for effort - there's nothing new here). However, the director and cast reputably disappeared off the face of the earth and the film vanished.
Hmmmm. So then how did the trailer ever surface? Please tell me.

Then the inevitable happens. Babyface appears out of the woods and hacks up some local-yokels who are giving our heroes a hard time.

The whole thing eventually ends up at the house of the missing director (which still, after 20 years gone, has electricity and the works) and makes for a completely predictable, unoriginal, and uninteresting ending. They tried to stick a twist in there but I totally saw it coming.

I heard the killer resembles the one in Dark Ride - but I hated that movie so bad I'm not sure I made it far enough through to even see the killer. I thought Babyface's mask was pretty damn good. Babyface did, however, completely remind me of Jason in nearly every aspect. His misshapen head with sprouts of hair here and there was sooooo Friday the 13th Part 3. The killings are oh-so Jason. And the way he trudged purposefully through the woods... Jason again. Only difference was the masks. And like I said - predictable. I had it figured out from the time Tyler and Alexa were in her motel. I didn't actually dislike this movie, I just felt like I'd pretty much seen it before.

Yes, there is gore. Yes, there is gratuitious nudity. Yes, victims run through the woods screaming. And yes, there will no doubt be a sequel.

HorrorBlips: vote it up!

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