Tuesday, October 11, 2011

Halloween Festival of Lists: October 11: ELEVEN Ways I Don't Want To Die

 Horror movies kill people in all kinds of fabulously inventive ways.  But there are ways, to me, that would be much worse than most others.  And that's what this list is all about. 
Ways I DO NOT want to die. 
Starting with the number one worst way to go, at least for me...death by shark. 

1) Not just any shark.  A Carcharodon carcharias. The Great White.
Getting chomped on by anything would pretty much ruin one's day, but I've seen waaay too many shark movies for this not to be number one on my list.

Funny enough, Jaws is my favorite horror movie.  So I'm assuming that what scares me most makes me the most happy.  Ironic.

2) While this picture is pretty hard to see what's going on, I can tell you flat out it's a guy whose head has just been taken off by a huge-ass chest of drawers.  It happened in High Tension, and the image of it is burned on my brain for all eternity. Hence, my fear of cumbersome furniture.
And by jove, that really was inventive, I'll give them that.  Really bad way to go.

3) I'm pretty much scared to death (no pun intended) to die of some horrific disease, especially something as gruesome as Necrotizing fasciitis. 

While Cabin Fever might have been exaggerating the flesh-eating bacteria malady a wee bit, it still paints a pretty offensive picture of dying from something that's eating you from the inside out.

4)  In horror movies there are some pretty nasty deaths, and if I were picking one that stuck with me, it really would have to be the death-by-banging-against-a-tree-while-in-a-sleeping-bag.  Unique, sure.  But the thought of being inside the damn thing and not seeing what's coming...

And while many of my blogging friends are huge fans of Friday the 13th Part VII, I lost interest in Jason after part III.  Sorry. 
But he's inventive, I'll give him that.

Airport 1975
 5) Here's a truth.  I've never flown in a plane before. And so at this point in my life I have a deep-rooted fear.  Of crashing into the Andes into a snow covered mountain?  No, not really.  Because I'm not heading to Argentina any time soon.  But crashing into the ocean?  My greatest fear.  I'm not only afraid of dying in a plane crash, but I'm afraid of drowning.  In all honesty, I would probably have a bloody heart attack if I knew the plane was going down, so perhaps being on the bottom of the ocean in a plane is something I really don't have to fear - I'd be dead before we hit the water.

 6) Most of you know I don't like kids, so death by a crazed woman cutting me open to perform a primitive C-section probably wouldn't happen in my lifetime because I would more than likely never be pregnant.
But wow.  That's an unbelievably vile way to go. 
I don't believe I've seen anything like À l'intérieur before, and most likely won't again. 

7) Bart the Bear was quite the movie star!  He starred in a whole bunch of Hollywood films, doing what he does best.  Scaring the ever-lovin' shit out of people.

The Edge was a film that to me was incredibly frightening because damn, that shit could happen! Sure, it's pretty rare, but possible.
Besides the shark attack, death by grizzly bear mauling (with your warm entrails spilling out into your lap!) has to be right up there at the top of the list.

8)  I'm paranoid riding in cars about 75% of the time.  With good reason.  Check out the mess at your right.  Final Destination 2 has one of the most realistic car accidents in film history. 
It's cringe worthy, in fact. 
Being killed in a car accident is one of my biggest fears in life, and is something that could happen at any time because I drive a car every day.  Scary.

9) Okay, so being pulled apart by zombies and being eaten alive by the living dead is more than likely not going to happen to me, ever.
But for my list to be complete, I had to add it.  I've seen it in several movies, and it ties in with the cannibalism I fear so badly.
This scene from Dawn of the Dead is probably the most famous, but it's done in nearly every zombie movie made.

10)  Something else that is never going to happen, but is equally as disturbing as being ripped apart by zombies...

Quite frankly, being attacked by any kind of dinosaur would be horrendous, but for me, the T-Rex would be top of the heap.  But even worse, can you imagine being eaten while you're on the crapper?  Boo.  Of course if it happened to me, I'd be right where I needed to be...on the toilet. 

(I've said it before and I'll say it again.  Jurassic Park dinosaurs rule.)

11) I'm sensing a trend here.
Seems like I have an inherent fear of being ripped apart.  Sharks, bears, zombies, T-Rex...
And here we are again...being ripped apart.  By two trucks. While still alive.
God how The Hitcher made a major impact on me all those years ago...


Fatally Yours said...

I am LOVING your lists! They are just brilliant!

I definitely am with you on many of these...including being ripped apart/eaten alive by zombies. Gives me the willies thinking about it!

Christine Hadden said...

Thanks Sarah! Here's hoping I can keep it up all month, lol... seemed like a good idea mid-September :)

Kev D. said...

Great list.

I'd say the worst for me is the people that get brought back to the Mother Ship in Aliens and are imprisoned in the weird acid cocoons waiting to be impregnated, and eventually killed when the little baby alien tears their insides apart trying to get out.

So horrifying.

Spike Ghost said...

Ugh, that scene from Final Destination 2 scarred me for life (I love watching it though). I'm already really anxious when i get inside a car and when I'm next to a truck (or one of those wood carriers like in the movie) i need to calm myself down (and it sucks when you're stuck next to it for many dozens of miles).

traci's mixed bag said...

I'm pretty much not a fan of any slow painful deaths but I think death by chainsaw would be at the top of my list as the worst.

Kaijinu said...

I guess falling to my death (from anything) is the worst for me. All those moments flashed in a second's a thing i don't want to experience...